Hallmark movies are meant to be cheesy and comforting while unapologetically leaning into familiar tropes. You don’t really tune into these films for their groundbreaking storytelling because their charm lies in simple, feel-good moments, small-town love stories, and characters who always find their way back home. Even within those boundaries, though, there is no excuse for poor execution. However, sometimes, Hallmark movies seem to forget that they can’t rely on a formula that works when everything else is falling short.
10
‘Boyfriends of Christmas Past’ (2021)
Hallmark movies are known for being predictable, but Boyfriends of Christmas Past takes things to a whole new level, and not in a good way. The story follows hotshot marketing executive Lauren (Catherine Haena Kim), who is visited by the ghosts of her three ex-boyfriends. The narrative of the film is obviously a rendition of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and ends with Lauren opening her heart up to love and realizing that her best friend Nate (Raymond Ablack) is the love of her life. Now, I like a modern take on a Christmas classic, but Boyfriends of Christmas Past was a snooze fest simply because the leads had no chemistry at all. While Ablack’s performance is one of the best parts about the film, Kim just doesn’t match his energy. Her delivery is one-dimensional at best, and that makes it hard for you to feel invested in the relationship.
The worst part is that the film tries so hard to put a modern spin on A Christmas Carol that it actually ends up doing nothing new with the story. The narrative is painfully predictable from the start, and after a point, you feel like you’ve already watched the film before. What really gets me, though, is that the entire plot is happening in Lauren’s dreams, so after all this exposition, everything is resolved in about two minutes after she wakes up. Boyfriends of Christmas Past is a great Christmas watch in theory, but given its forgettable story, I’d say it’s a skip, even for the holiday season.
9
‘My Boyfriends’ Dogs’ (2014)
Some might say that the bar is always low for Hallmark movies, but the network has the potential to do far better than My Boyfriends’ Dogs. This movie was just confusing, and I don’t know why these poor dogs had to be included in the narrative because it was clearly not needed. The story follows Bailey (Erika Christensen), who has had a string of failed relationships, each one of which has left her with a new dog. I know the premise sounds interesting, but after the first few minutes, My Boyfriends’ Dogs turns into a jumbled mess of clichéd characters. I have to admit, this movie could have been great.
The dogs are adorable, and Christensen brings a unique charm to her character. I really like that in the end, the leading lady chooses herself over a man. At the same time, though, her chemistry with the male leads was non-existent to the point where the ending almost felt inevitable. Overall, the characters in the film are half-baked, so the emotional payoff never really lands. The film has heart, but after a point, I was only watching it for the dogs, and not the storyline.
8
‘Welcome to Valentine’ (2023)
Welcome to Valentine had all the makings of a great Hallmark rom-com. You have Olivia (Kathryn Davis), a struggling artist in New York who loses her job and her apartment. She ends up hitching a ride with George (Markian Tarasiuk), a wealthy, career-focused man. The story picks up when George’s car breaks down in Olivia’s hometown of Valentine, Nebraska, just in time for, you guessed it, Valentine’s Day! The setting is classic Hallmark, but the biggest issue is the film’s horrible execution. The leads have no chemistry, so you never really buy the idea that they are slowly falling for each other.
Aside from that, the acting in general is a bit too over-the-top, to the point where the film feels like a parody of a rom-com. The writing and dialogue try way too hard to make their point at times, and the pacing is the stuff of nightmares for any director. You would think a Hallmark movie knows how to bring the story to a happy ending, but Welcome to Valentine tries to do that on fast-forward, with George’s sudden career pivot and Olivia’s realization of her true passion. Not to mention the film’s glorified portrayal of Valentine, Nebraska, was a little tone-deaf and unrealistic. Don’t get me wrong, I love a cheesy romantic movie now and then, but this one is not it.
7
‘My Best Friend’s Bouquet’ (2020)
This Hallmark Fall Harvest original stars Chaley Rose as Josie, a hopeless romantic who believes a little too much in the power of catching a bouquet at someone’s wedding. Josie thinks fate is pushing her toward a new love interest when she catches one at her friend’s wedding. In true Hallmark fashion, though, she misses all the signs from the universe that prove her best friend, Alex (Nathan Witte), has been her perfect match all along. You can’t deny that the premise isn’t sweet. Friends to lovers is definitely my favorite romance trope, and I had such high hopes for this film to deliver. Unfortunately, though, that’s about where it ends because the execution of My Best Friend’s Bouquet feels amateur, to say the least.
The pacing is painfully slow, and it’s far from the romantic slow-burn that often works in this genre. Josie and her obsession with the whole bouquet thing are cute for about five minutes before it gets annoying and comes in the way of her character development. Like most of the films on this list, chemistry is once again a major issue, and both Rose and Witte are extremely unconvincing in their roles. Another big issue was that the film had next to no autumn vibes, so its inclusion in the network’s Fall Harvest slate felt a bit out of place.
6
‘From Friend to Fiancé’ (2019)
If you’re looking for an absolutely ridiculous film to watch, From Friend to Fiancé fits the bill. The film is Hallmark’s attempt at the My Best Friend’s Wedding formula, but it has none of the emotional depth of the original. The story revolves around Jess (Jocelyn Hudon), who is blindsided when her childhood best friend, Ted (Ryan Paevy), gets engaged to the mean girl from their high school days. In a predictable turn of events, Ted asks Jess to plan the wedding, but her feelings for him keep getting in the way. I’ll be honest and say that the actors weren’t the bad part of this film.
In fact, they delivered good performances and were actually doing their best with what they had. The problem was that the writing was plain lazy, to the point where I felt like I was watching a high school play version of My Best Friend’s Wedding. After all this, we’re somehow supposed to believe that Tedd got engaged without Jess even knowing that he was ever dating. That kind of plot hole is unacceptable, even for a Hallmark movie. Right when the leads actually go from friends to lovers, the credits roll, so you don’t even get to enjoy that part. Safe to say, I won’t be rewatching From Friend to Fiance anytime soon.
5
‘A Royal Corgi Christmas’ (2022)
A Royal Corgi Christmas is one of Hallmark’s endless attempts to put a spin on the classic royal love story. The movie starts with Prince Edmond (Jordan Renzo), who gifts his mom a corgi. That’s when Cecily (Hunter King) enters the picture as a renowned dog trainer and social media pet-influencer who is tasked with fixing the corgi’s behavior. It’s the predictable common-meets-royal setup, but King and Renzo’s flat acting ruins the fairytale within 5 minutes of their first meeting.
Pacing is also an issue with the film, because the romance is so mild, it feels like Edmond and Cecily are just bonding over their love for the dog, rather than developing feelings for each other. The ending is weirdly rushed, and the big emotional climax happens in the final seven minutes, which barely leaves room for a proper conclusion. My advice is, if you want to watch this film, watch it for the corgi, because the pup was the only redeeming factor here.
4
‘Supernova’ (2005)
Most people know Hallmark for its signature rom-coms. However, the network is way more than just that, even if it’s not particularly good at any of it. Supernova stars Luke Perry as astrophysicist Dr. Chris Richardson, who finds out that the sun is about to explode, and that leads to him and his crew desperately trying to save the Earth from a solar apocalypse. Even if you put the cast’s exaggerated performances aside, Supernova is a ridiculous film. For starters, anyone who has passed high school physics will know that it’s impossible for the sun to explode. The fact that the writers completely ignored science and centered the film’s story around a fiery plasma storm shows poor research on their part. Not to mention that the sun’s solar flares destroy landmarks like the Taj Mahal and the Eiffel Tower with unbelievable precision while the main characters remain completely safe.
Another inconsistency is in the film’s setting. Supernova takes place in Australia, but the characters are constantly switching between Australian, American, and even British accents, so you never know what part of the world they are actually from. I have to admit that Perry tries his best, but the material he is working with is so bizarre that his performance barely even matters. Since all of this wasn’t enough, Supernova also throws in a deranged murderer halfway through the plot because why not? The film was well shot for its time, but half an hour in, I was praying for the sun to just explode already and put everyone out of their misery.
3
‘The Cabin’ (2011)
The Cabin starts off really strong when two families with the same last name, MacDougall, are double-booked into the same tiny cabin during a fictional Scottish festival. Lily (Lea Thompson) and Conor (Steven Brand) are both single parents looking to spend quality time with their respective kids. As they hole up in the same space, sparks start to fly between the parents, while the kids are at constant odds with each other. Now, the idea that there is no lodging available in all of Scotland is a little hard to believe. Even if you ignore that, though, the script just gets weaker by the minute. There’s only so much cringeworthy dialogue that one can take, and The Cabin really pushes that limit. To make things worse, there is absolutely no chemistry between the two leads, and their character arcs are constantly swinging between being wildly in love one second and completely hating each other the next. Talk about whiplash.
The worst part, though, is how badly The Cabin dropped the ball in terms of its cultural representation. I really don’t understand the idea of inventing a festival for a movie, because it feels half-hearted and gimmicky. Not to mention that the film was actually shot in Ireland, and the characters keep switching between accents, which completely ruins the watching experience.
2
‘Fir Crazy’ (2013)
Fir Crazy, also known as Oh Christmas Tree!, is yet another predictable Hallmark movie that falls flat in several aspects. The film stars Sarah Lancaster as Elise MacReynolds, a workaholic from Manhattan who loses her job and her boyfriend. Elise ends up selling trees for her family’s lot when she meets a charming customer named Darren (Eric Johnson). I know Hallmark movies have a signature, feel-good format, but it feels like Fir Crazy wants to hit every cliché on the list rather than focusing on an actual plot.
I love background characters in a story, but I can think of at least three in this film who could have been cut without changing the plot at all. To be fair, Fir Crazy does a good job with its ending and imparts important lessons about family, tradition, and not letting capitalism crush your holiday spirit. Despite that, though, the lack of chemistry, choppy plot transitions, and abrupt resolutions will make you want to fast-forward through this snooze fest.
1
‘A Gingerbread Romance’ (2018)
The story of A Gingerbread Romance is as literal as it gets. The film features Tia Mowry as Taylor, a talented architect who has to enter a contest to build a life-size gingerbread house for a promotion. After her original French pastry partner, Annabelle (Jordana Lajoie), bails on her, Taylor ropes in Adam (Duane Henry), a charming single dad and local baker who suddenly has all the time in the world during the busiest season for his line of work. As Taylor and Adam figure out the science of structural icing, they obviously start developing feelings for each other. Unfortunately, though, none of the romance in the film is ever believable because the script just feels hollow.
The story heavily leans on the magical setting and fun premise, without ever focusing on character depth. Even the competition is so badly executed that by the end, Taylor and Adam win without any challenge at all. Overall, there is a lack of urgency in the film that makes everything feel bland. Not to mention Hallmark’s terrible job at hiding Mowry’s real-life pregnancy with unflattering oversized clothing and awkward blocking in important scenes. I appreciate the film’s diverse cast, but that doesn’t make up for its weak storytelling.
A Gingerbread Romance
- Release Date
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December 16, 2018
- Runtime
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90 Minutes
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Jordana Lajoie
Annabelle Renard
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Giles Panton
Bradford Gilmore
