Most people are aware that we’re several weeks into a strike by the Writers Guild of America. It could be a while longer before the studios and the writers come to an agreement on a large number of complex issues. Besides the usual demands for increased pay and residuals, the writers want to address abuses of mini-rooms, regulate the use of AI in writing, and more.
It’s a lot to keep track of, so here’s a rundown of some of the lesser-known Writers Guild demands:
1) More co-writing options. “And” and “&” aren’t enough; the writers want to add “with,” “or,” and “despite,” among others.
2) Directors can only claim “film by” credit if they hand-copy the entire script with quill and ink. And they have to use fancy calligraphy, where all the S’s look like F’s.
3) Executives can only give notes if they can demonstrate they’ve never read Save the Cat. Can’t prove a negative, you say? Exactly.
4) All ad-libbed lines must be approved before filming. Or the actors have to ADR the original lines back in, whether the lip sync matches or not.
5) Any journalist who says, “You guys looked like you were having so much fun! How many of your lines were ad-libbed?” must be banned from any future press junkets. No one ever asks how many of their costumes the actors picked out themselves.
5a) If an actor responds, “We ad libbed the whole thing,” they have to swap salaries with the writer. It’s only fair.
6) All movies must include a secret 4th act. With a commensurate pay increase.
7) Credit writers must be credited in a separate credit sequence.
8) Writers must receive residuals every time one of their lines is used in a meme. To be paid in dogecoin.
9) If a plot hole is created by cutting a scene, [insert joke here].
10) Writers get the respect they deserve. lol j/k Can you imagine?
