“I’m always scared that people are just gonna leave me for no reason,” Leah said, detailing her abandonment issues — before also admitting why it’s “painful” for her to see old clips of Teen Mom.
Amber Portwood’s daughter, Leah Shirley, is beginning her journey to heal from the past trauma she’s experienced in her relationship with her mother.
During Thursday’s new episode of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter, the 16-year-old reality star made the decision to start therapy to address how her complicated relationship with her mother has affected her mental health over the years, with Leah revealing that she suffers from “abandonment issues.”
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After Catelynn Lowell’s husband, Tyler, called Leah’s dad, Gary Shirley, and revealed how therapy helped him deal with his past struggles with his relationship with his father, Gary sat down with Leah to discuss the possibility of her talking to a mental health professional as well.
Leah shared how one of her friends at school asked her if she was on a TV show, adding that the classmate told her she had an old Teen Mom clip pop up on her TikTok, to which Gary then asked Leah if she feels “pressure” at school from being on television.
“It’s just weird. I’ve been seeing a lot of TikTok videos with, like, old clips and stuff,” she told her dad, who asked if she watches clips that are “painful to watch.”
Leah said she often sees old Teen Mom footage from when she was a toddler. “It’s just weird to watch,” she explained. “It’s always Amber screaming at you, and then you leave.”
“And then there’s one clip where she’s yelling, like, ‘Why is Leah crying?'” she continued. “When she’s in a complete opposite room, just leaving me. And it’s just weird. I think those are just painful to watch ’cause it’s little me.”
The show then cut to the clip Leah was referring to, with Amber yelling at Gary from another room as baby Leah cried, before showing other similar, tough-to-watch moments.
“I just think I have a lot of issues because of Amber, and the experiences that I’ve had,” she admitted, to which Gary said he wishes he could have done “more” for his daughter, adding that it must be difficult for Leah to watch that old footage.
Gary then suggested therapy, and Leah agreed, noting that she wants to be able to “overcome” her trauma, “forgive” Amber, and “move on.”
“I think it would help to have someone to guide me on how to forgive someone because it’s hard for me to do that,” Leah added, before she opened up about her complicated emotions about her mother in a confessional.
“I’m not really sure when I realized when she wasn’t there, but I know I do have abandonment issues from her not being around,” she shared. “But I do know that there’s a lot going on that makes it difficult for her to be able to be there for me.”
“I feel like it does affect me every day because I’m always scared that Kristina’s gonna leave me,” she continued, referring to Gary’s wife, and her stepmom. “I’m always scared that people are just gonna leave me for no reason.”
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Later in the episode, Gary explained to Kristina that he had made a therapy appointment for Leah, with Kristina noting how long it’s been since Leah has seen Amber.
“We’re at four months again with no contact,” Kristina said. “I mean, that just plays with her emotions. I think moving forward … you and I just have to go with what Leah wants.”
Gary agreed, adding, “Leah is about to be 16, and she can go to her therapist, and say whatever she wants. So, if she doesn’t want her mom to know, that’s final.”
Gary drove Leah to her first therapy appointment, with his daughter saying that she was feeling “good” about being able to get “to talk to somebody.”
Cameras didn’t follow Leah into her appointment, and after, Gary told Kristina that Leah “didn’t really talk much” to him about it after either, adding that he didn’t “want to pry.”
Kristina shared that she spoke to Leah and assured her that she’s there to support her.
“I know they talked a little about her mom, I think,” Gary revealed, to which Kristina asked if he believed Leah potentially attending therapy with Amber “would ever be helpful.”
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“No,” Gary immediately replied. “Now, it’s to a point where you’re giving up on somebody [who’s] given up on you. There’s a difference there.”
He added that Leah has “built a boundary” to protect herself from “getting hurt.”
“Good luck to Amber if she ever wanted to go to court, ‘I can’t see my daughter,'” Gary said. “I’d be like, good luck! Gonna get worse for you the moment you do that because it’ll 100 percent change, everything will change.”
“Leah said if she was ever forced to go there, she would run away,” Kristina told Gary, who laughed, before adding, “She would run away, but she would tell the judge what she wanted, and it’d be done.”
In a confessional, Gary — who has had full custody of Leah since 2011 — stressed that his priority is his daughter, and putting her “first.”
“Whenever dealing with Leah, I want it to be her thoughts, her feelings, I think that makes it, it kind of puts a lot of those hard questions out of my hands and into someone else’s hands [who’s] a professional,” he shared. “It’s only Leah [who] matters.”
New episodes of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter air Thursdays on MTV.