With a new live-action movie hitting theaters, nostalgia for Masters of the Universe is hitting all-time highs. At this very moment, people who grew up in the 1980s can’t help but think back to the days when they were kids spending all their free time watching the He-Man cartoons and playing with the toys. Those figures, so much bigger than the G.I. Joes and Star Wars figures, and with seemingly endless muscles, will always hold a special place in the hearts of large portions of Gen X and Millennials who still remember their Masters of the Universe trivia.
But as the latchkey kids of the past think back to getting their very own Castle Grayskull — or being forced to be nice to the neighbor kid so they could play with his — their minds will invariably focus on the greatest of the He-Man toys. There was, He-Man himself, Teela, and Man-At-Arms, who didn’t have his mustache. And, of course, there was Skeletor. The most evil of the toys, and yet the coolest looking one at the same time, creating a true moral conundrum for many boys and girls.
But while our minds center on the Masters of the Universe toys we loved most, we can’t forget the others. The substitute figures, if you will. Some of the weirder He-Man toys were interesting ideas that went terribly wrong. Others were clearly attempts to copy other toys that kids liked in the hopes of getting in on other fads of the time. And then there are ones where it seems like the creative minds at Mattel were all out of ideas.
Stinkor Was Sure To Make Moms Mad
Imagine a toy where the whole idea was that it smelled bad. That was Stinkor, and kids loved it. The figure, which seemed to have been soaked in patchouli oil to give it a skunky smell, would leave the scent on the fingers of anyone who played with it, which was annoying, but it also opened up a wonderful new way to torture younger siblings.
More than one older brother forced their sibling to inhale Stinkor, invariably leading to tears and yelling and, on more than one occasion, physical fighting. And this, of course, would lead to mom or dad or whatever adult happened to be around — if an adult was around — having to break things up. More than one Stinkor ended up going “missing” in the hours after bedtime when mom and dad could quietly toss the toy in the trash.
Snout Spout Was Kind Of Useless
One of the odder looking Masters of the Universe figures, Snout Spout, who was incorrectly called “Hose Nose” when he made his animated debut in She-Ra: Princess of Power, appears to be a man who wears a metal elephant mask. From his mask, Snout Spout can shoot out water, which is a useful trick for a firefighter.
But the really weird thing about Snout Spout is that he’s a cyborg. While the toy and animated version of the character has a human body, his look in the comics included a full suit, as well as a firefighter’s axe. He was also a bit of a bummer who sat around feeling sorry for himself. In theory, Snout Spout was a cool toy because he could actually shoot out water from his snout, but he couldn’t really hold much water and became more of a chore to refill than it was worth dealing with.
Moss Man Was Dry Clean Only
Moss Man, a figure covered in a green moss that smelled like pine, was an instant hit with kids. He looked cool, had a neat gimmick, and was fuzzy, which gave him an extrasensory bonus that the other Masters of the Universe figures were missing. There was just one problem with the toy: you could not get it wet.
Moss Man’s moss was held on with adhesive, and it would soak up water, which then led to the adhesive losing its adhesiveness. Soon enough, Moss Man became “Naked Man.” He-Man toys were favorites at bath time and for some outside play, but Moss Man couldn’t handle those kinds of conditions, making him a weird but cool figure who would almost certainly break a kid’s heart once some H2O — or any other liquid — was introduced into the mix. Clearly, Moss Man and Snout Spout had to stay far away from one another.
Mantenna Was A Walking Nightmare
When Mantenna showed up in the cartoons and comics, he was a somewhat cute looking four-legged creature with big ears and wild eyes. The toy, on the other hand, was nightmarish. The cute face was replaced with frightening ant-like mandibles, a mouth like a leech, and bloodshot eyes that could literally pop out of the monster’s head.
Adding to the terror, Mantenna’s four legs were fused together, creating just two lumpy legs. And, if that wasn’t enough, the arms and legs of the toy had protruding fins made of hard plastic, which made him uncomfortable to grab. Of all the weird Masters of the Universe toys, Mantenna was the one who was most likely to give kids nightmares.
Rio Blast May Have Been Meant For A Different Line Of Toys
Sometimes you can just feel when someone in a creative meeting comes up with an idea just minutes before the weekend started, and, for Masters of the Universe, Rio Blast sure seems to fit that bill. A cyborg cowboy who loves chili and has a number of guns hidden inside his body, there is nothing about this toy that feels like it fits into the Masters of the Universe motif.
For one thing, the worlds of He-Man and She-Ra were more fantasy sci-fi than anything else, and tossing in a cowboy who is just dressed like a cowboy doesn’t really fit. And then there’s his name and origin. Rio Blast is a member of the Starband Marshals and comes from the world of Loredos. All of it feels more like it was made for BraveStarr, which Mattel was also responsible for.
King Hiss Was The Weirdest Of The Snake Men
When it comes to nightmares, a man turning into a bunch of snakes has to be up there. In the least, it would really freak Indiana Jones out. That nightmare was turned into a toy when Masters of the Universe introduced King Hiss. Starting off looking like a regular man in a green suit, King Hiss’ head, chest, arms, and torso could be removed, revealing that he was actually made up of three large snakes.
This twisted version of the three kids under a trench coat gag wasn’t alone, either. King Hiss was the leader of the Snake Men, which included Tung Lashor and Rattlor. And while his henchmen were weird as well, they didn’t hold a candle to their king.
Modulok Let Kids Decide How Weird He Would Be
Looking like something out of a 1950s comic, Modulok gave fans of Masters of the Universe the chance to create their own weird toy, as long as they could keep track of all the piece. Made up of 22 separate parts, Modulok’s whole thing was that he was modular, so any two or more pieces could be combined to form thousands of combinations.
Along with two very weird looking heads, Modulok came with a variety of arms, legs, and other bits and bobs. It seems clear that Modulok wasn’t just a threat to He-Man and She-Ra, he was also a choking hazard for children. And, as an added bonus, almost every kid who had one was sure to lose a few pieces in the first 24 hours.
The Meteorbs Left Mattel With Egg On Its Face
Created by the Japanese company Bandai, Tamagoras were eggs that could transform into different animals. Mattel licensed the toys for an American release, adding them to the Masters of the Universe line and calling them Meteorbs. The idea that they tried to sell to kids was that these weren’t transforming eggs, they were transforming meteors!
The Meteorbs were a very late addition to the Masters of the Universe line, and it seems pretty clear that Mattel was trying to find a way to get kids who loved Transformers back into the He-Man fold. But the half-hearted attempt didn’t work. No one wanted to play with transforming eggs.
Stonedar Was Rock Bottom
In a different but more honest attempt to get some of those Transformers kids to jump over, Masters of the Universe introduced the Rock People, a race of beings who were made up of rocks and turned into boulders. While these figures at least looked like they belonged in the same universe as He-Man, they were still pretty boring.
Looking at Stonedar, the leader of the Rock People, it’s hard not to wonder if this is what the makers of 1988’s Big were goofing on when Tom Hanks is presented with a robot that transforms into a building. In both cases, the company has missed out on what makes Transformers cool.
Prince Adam Was The Figure That Never Made Sense
The Masters of the Universe figures were, at the heart of it all, power fantasies. Boys and girls played with them and imagined themselves as He-Man, She-Ra, and their friends. They saw themselves as muscular figures, taking on evil and not having a bedtime. And the… there was Prince Adam.
Why Mattel made Prince Adam, the not so powerful secret identity of He-Man, into a toy is a mystery that may never be solved. What is known is that no child was ever excited to unwrap a birthday present and find Prince Adam looking back at them. Perhaps the idea was that parents could give Prince Adam to their children as punishment. Get all As on your report card? Here’s Battle Cat! Got all Fs? Here’s Prince Adam.
- Cast
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John Erwin, Alan Oppenheimer, Linda Gary, Lou Scheimer, George DiCenzo, Dolph Lundgren, Kyle Allen, Frank Langella, Meg Foster, Billy Barty, Courtney Cox, Robert Duncan McNeill, Jon Cypher, Chelsea Field, James Tolkan, Christina Pickles, Erika Scheimer, Jay Scheimer
- Created by
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Roger Sweet
- Movie(s)
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Masters of the Universe, Masters of the Universe, Masters of the Universe
- Character(s)
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He-Man, Skeletor, Prince Adam, Cringer, Battle Cat, Beast Man, Man-At-Arms, Orko, Teela
