Talking to yourself is still one of those habits surrounded by myths. Many people assume it’s a sign of eccentricity, but psychology actually says that it’s entirely normal behaviour – in most cases, anyway.
Talking to yourself, in itself, is not a symptom of mental illness. You might be fully aware that you’re talking to yourself and you use this dialogue as a tool to reflect, get organised, or regulate your emotions.
“We all maintain a constant internal dialogue,” psychologist Violeta Acedo explains. “The difference is that, in certain situations, that dialogue is simply happening out loud…
“People who talk to themselves aren’t necessarily more intelligent, but talking to oneself can be a useful strategy for functioning better.”
© Getty ImagesWhat talking to yourself reveals about you
If you are someone who talks to yourself, there are three main insights revealed…
1. How you organise your thoughts and direct your attention to priorities
One of the main benefits of talking out loud to yourself is that it facilitates mental organisation. When we verbalise what we’re thinking, the brain turns a succession of ideas into a more structured, easy-to-follow message.
That’s why it’s common to catch ourselves saying phrases aloud like, “First I’ll do this and then that” or “Where have I left my keys?”. This isn’t just a quirk, but a strategy that helps to direct our attention.
“It’s a way of mentally organising what we are doing or want to do and directing our attention towards a specific goal,” Acedo states.
The psychologist adds that various studies have shown that saying the name of the object we are looking for out loud can make it easier to find it sooner, as the brain better focuses its attention on what it’s trying to locate.
© Getty ImagesTalking to yourself can also be a useful tool when performing complex tasks or those that require a high level of concentration.
Talking to yourself out loud can help with memory and concentration — for example, if you break a task down into small steps expressed out loud, it becomes easier to maintain focus and avoid mistakes
This often happens when doing things like cooking, assembling furniture, driving somewhere unfamiliar or learning a new skill.
2. Your level of emotional regulation and self-compassion
Not all conversations with oneself have a practical objective. Many serve an important emotional function. In fact, according to psychology expert Violeta Acedo, “Speaking to ourselves with the same understanding with which we would treat a friend promotes better emotional regulation.”
Furthermore, before an exam, a job interview or a difficult conversation, it’s common to tell yourself phrases like, “Calm down, take it step by step” or “Breathe, you can do this.” This internal dialogue can reduce feelings of being overwhelmed and encourage a calmer response.
The way we talk to ourselves can influence how we think, act and face our day-to-day lives much more than we imagine
Likewise, some studies have noted that speaking to ourselves in the second person, for example, “Violeta, breathe, you can do this,” can help us to distance ourselves from the problem and “analyse the situation with more clarity when we are under stress,” she details.
3. Whether you’re a visual or verbal thinker
Not everyone uses this technique with the same frequency, and that’s also perfectly normal. “There are people with a very verbal internal dialogue and others who process information more through images or sensations,” the psychologist explains. Added to this are factors like personality, habits or the type of activity we’re doing.
So you may barely verbalise your thoughts or you might often talk to yourself spontaneously, especially if it’s when you need to get organised, plan or solve a problem.
When self-talk is beneficial — and the warning signs to watch out for
The expert is clear that we must “avoid the idea that talking to yourself automatically means that there’s a psychological disorder present. In the vast majority of cases, that is not true.” However, she notes that it is advisable to consult a professional when this dialogue is:
- No longer useful
- Causes intense distress
- Interfering with daily life, your work, or your personal relationships.
“Talking to yourself isn’t usually the problem,” she says. “What’s key is what that internal dialogue sounds like and how it makes us feel.”
