HBO Max this Thursday unwrapped Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine’s Day Particular, by which the title character’s mission to offer accomplice Poison Ivy the most effective Valentine’s Day (and, sure, orgasm) ever triggered all types of sexually overcharged calamity all through Gotham Metropolis.
It additionally raised questions on whether or not steel-and-concrete buildings may give consent.
The particular opened with a montage of romantic moments going down all throughout Gotham — Riddler proposing to Clock King, Catwoman slipping sweets to an incarcerated Bruce Wayne…. And sprinkled by way of the 40some minutes had been When Harry Met Sally-esque interviews with “tremendous” {couples} comparable to Superman and Lois, Aquaman and Mera, and Darkseid and Queen Hyppolyta.
Ivy hoped to spend her Feb. 14 simply Netflix & Chilling, and Harley appeared on board. Besides, she wasn’t. Quite, she had deftly orchestrated an evening that includes meatballs to just about die for at Mama Macaroni, adopted by fireworks and a little bit of theater that received some random oil exec massacred.
Ivy was moved, but Harley couldn’t shake the sensation that she fell brief. And when Harley swiped the Lasso of Reality from Surprise Lady to substantiate her suspicion -— Ivy had skilled higher — she got down to one-up her pretend greeting card vacation sport! To that finish, Harley paid a go to to Etrigan the Demon’s store to acquire a spell that may ship unto Ivy the best orgasm ever — and wow, it did. To a level that Ivy’s screaming eruption of pheromones bathed the town in an aphrodisiac, orgy-spawning cloud.
Among the many affected had been Clayface, who had simply gotten cleaved in half and as such fell head over heels in love along with his… butt. His speaking, equally smitten butt. His speaking, smitten butt whom he couldn’t contact/”get inside,” lest they re-absorb one another.
Bane in the meantime discovered himself invited to hitch a dominatrix named Betty in torturing a consumer. However when Bane noticed Betty indulge the person with small penis humiliation, he left feeling… insufficient, particularly upon being invited to later hook up along with his new woman good friend. So Bane additionally sought out Etrigan, to supersize his manhood. Alas, Bane was in such a rush to pepper his peter with the potion that he didn’t see the “DON’T USE IF YOU TAKE HGH” warning. And in consequence, all of him swelled as much as the peak of a medium-sized constructing. A medium-sized, sexy af constructing.
The remainder of the episode was about Harley and Ivy looking for a technique to pin down and “flip off” Bane earlier than he had totally inappropriate relations with the fourth flooring of Wayne Enterprises, or caught as much as visiting TV star Brett Goldstein and… nicely, we’re not fairly positive how that may have labored.
#Harlivy had the concept to have a reconstituted Clayface take the type of a large, hairy-chested Brett Goldstein after which un-arouse Bane by reciting lots of the turn-offs from his relationship profile. But it surely turned out to be Clayface-as-Brett’s grating misuse of the phrases “In any case” and “begs the query” successfully neutered Massive Bane’s noodle — after which, Betty confirmed up and led the outsized goon away for…. yeah, nobody is certain how that labored, both.
As for the central lovebirds? Ivy shared that maybe her finest, most-unbeatable Valentine’s Day ever was when one Dr. Harley Quinzel visited her in jail with some chocolate milk (and an entire recap of Shrek 3), as we received a beautiful, sudden flashback to their duo’s very first assembly.
What did you consider HQ’s V-Day particular?
