Adam Sandler was presented with the Icon Award at the People’s Choice Awards on Sunday night. The problem was, he went up and accepted something entirely different — and way less appropriate!
Accepting the award from frequent co-star Jennifer Aniston, the Happy Gilmore star said he actually had misheard on the call and thought he was getting People’s Sexiest Man Alive! He began:
“So, I wrote a speech for that and I don’t have one prepared for the Icon thing. So I’m gonna do the speech I wrote…”
What followed was a totally inappropriate and HIGHlariously awkward acceptance of an accolade he was NOT getting, complete with references to his and others’ genitalia — all while Jen had to stand there onstage! He said with gratitude:
“To the People Magazine’s Academy of Hotness and Sexual Attractiveness, I would like to say thank you for recognizing me as the man who made our entire country the horniest this year. And was by far the most talked about person in the bedroom by couples, throuples, or fantasy role play sloppy time.”
The Sandman also noted it was “about friggin’ time” as he’d been “waiting patiently on the sexy bench with his legs wide open, radiating sensuality, finger-licking desirability and a slight hint of man bulge, tastefully displayed for his, hers or theys pleasure.”
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Oh dear… He continued, as wife of 20+ years Jackie Sandler looked on:
“Now that this award has finally been bestowed upon me, it will sit proudly on my night stand where it will witness many feats of romantic gymnastics performed gently on my fine-as-hell wife… the regular style, the weird noises style and of course, my speciality, the sorry about that, get you next time style.”
He also described the bod that won him the honor (which, again, he did not receive):
“Underneath my XX loose-fitting leisure wear is pure perfection. Here are the highlights. My abs, don’t have any. My hip bones, under there somewhere. My belly button, lost that thing years ago. My nipples, one pointing east, the other pointing south and a third pointing at anything that would dare to look at it. Lastly, my pee pee. On a Pinocchio scale, it is 6-12 lies long. Depending on wind chill or humidity.”
Eep! LOLz! What a poet! See the ridiculous full speech (below)!
[Image via NBC/YouTube.]
