Britney Spears is speaking out about her ill-fated marriage to Sam Asghari… and more.
On Thursday, the Toxic crooner took to her Instagram account to post (and then very quickly delete) a video clip of her dancing with the actor. He was shirtless for it, and shown effortlessly spinning Brit around in front of the camera. Then, he easily picked her up and lifted her into the air. The duo sealed things with a smile and a kiss — clearly from happier times, long before their marriage disintegrated.
As is often the case with Brit, she didn’t just post the video. She also posted a long caption ruminating on so-called “strange turns for relationships” and more. Like we said, the 42-year-old pretty quickly deleted the post not long after hitting publish. Page Six reports it was gone within an hour, while the US Sun claims several hours. Regardless, it ain’t there now — but fans captured it quick.
Related: Britney Was ‘Annoyed’ & ‘Triggered’ By Justin Timberlake’s Cruel On-Stage Non-Apology!
To start, the Baby One More Time performer penned:
“It’s weird cause there are always strange turns for relationships with friends family or your loved ones in the [roller coaster emoji] of any journey you’re on with someone !!! Looking back is hard sometimes but it’s honestly crucial … I’m honestly too sensitive in most situations.”
She went on to state her future goal is to protect herself from unhealthy situations and mistakes she’s made before:
“I speak about my past sometimes because I want to protect myself from the same mistakes as before !!! What I usually do if I’m going through too much is shut down but I sometimes lose the ability to figure out what’s going on or how I feel at all !!!”
Then she went on to lament she is maybe “too sensitive” — and sometimes protects herself by going numb:
“Sometimes I’m scared to feel anything cause I know I’m too sensitive … being numb is the worst I think but there’s safety in that cause I feel like I’m subconsciously protecting myself from feeling any importance at all !!!”
Ugh!
The Louisiana native then continued with a truly heartbreaking passage. She explained how things seemed to be easier in her younger days before she “experienced the cruelness of the world.” And thus, she now misses her old life when it was simpler to be vulnerable:
“It’s tricky cause that’s what people can take advantage of. We are such complicated sensitive people. It felt so much easier when I was younger cause I feel like I trusted people more and I hadn’t experienced the cruelness of the world yet. I miss being vulnerable and open with people. If you know me, you know how I love … I love too much it’s embarrassing and I will love you for life !!!”
In the end, she wants to keep her hard-loving and sensitive traits — even if it’s “not all peaches and cream” to behave that way in a cold and unforgiving world. She concluded:
“That’s a trait I want to try and keep but it’s not all peaches and cream as they say.”
Oof! This is so tough. Obviously, with the Sam video attached to the since-scrapped post, it’s easy to read it as a reflection on her marriage. But we could argue it also touches on everything related to her career, her family, and her conservatorship, too. So, so difficult. Britney has clearly been through so much. Sending love and light!!
[Image via Britney Spears/Instagram]