I was listening to David Archuleta’s new song “Afraid to Love” when I discovered he was one of the latest victims of the infamous fake celebrity story trend.
When TikTok user Emma Wahl (@emmawahlburger) asked another user, Noel B. Doherty (@noelbdohetry), “What’s the worst date you’ve been on?” He responded with a not-so-vague story about allegedly going on a coffee date with a singer who was singing competition when he was 16.
He included that the singer was “really salty” because he got second place and was embarrassed because he shared the same first name as the winner. David Cook won Season 7 of American Idol in 2008. Sixteen-year-old Archuleta was the runner-up.
Noel also described his alleged date’s dramatic coffee order: “Eight pumps of caramel in one cold brew with two packets of sugar.”
And then he claimed his date played guitar in the coffee shop and was “really negative” about a show he competed in “ages ago.” He said he didn’t want to mention him by name, but the person did compete in another singing show and got second place again.
And now David has hilariously responded in a TikTok, singing, “Where do I begin?” to start off the video. “Ok. Let me start with the guitar because I do not consider myself a guitar player,” he said. “In public is the last place you’ll ever see me playing guitar.”
“My guitar skills are like Ariana Grande deciding to do a WWE match suddenly in a coffee shop,” he added. “My guitar skills are like a dance contemporary duo where one of them has to lift the other one, and the one being lifted is Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. It’s something I’m so self-conscious about. Why would I ever care to play guitar in front of ANYBODY, especially on a first date.”
“Another thing, I’m so self-concerned about anything on TV. I don’t go showing off to people, ‘Look at everything I accomplished!’ I actually usually avoid making known that I do anything in the public eye when I’m on a first date. I usually avoid telling people that I’m a singer — I perform.”
David claimed that if you’ve been on a first date with him, you will usually not hear about anything he’s done because he’s just “too shy” to bring it up.
Regarding the ridiculous coffee order, David said he’s more of a “bitter drink” person. “I grew up Mormon, so I’ve never even been on a coffee date.” He added he was “extremely religious” until last year, so coffee dates were never something he would choose to do.
As for the second-place negativity, David said, “What’s wrong with getting second? What is there to be bitter [about]? There were 100,000 people that auditioned for that season of American Idol […] I’m thrilled that I made it to the top two of 100,000 people.”
“Final thing, I hope that people don’t think I’m that kind of first date. I hope y’all knew it was satire because I didn’t know that guy. I’ve never been on a date with him.”
Since then, @noelbdoherty responded with another hilarious video with a photo to prove they had been on a date. David kept the joke, claiming he had a bad memory, so perhaps that’s why he didn’t remember the date.
There are so many satirical TikTok videos going viral lately with wild claims against celebrities. It’s nice to see David was a great sport about it.
