Forget the fashion police. We asked kids to rate the Golden Globes red carpet.

Forget Joan Rivers. If you’re looking for the world’s toughest fashion critics, they’re likely already sitting on your couch. Just ask the team at Yahoo, who turned to some special red carpet correspondents during Sunday’s Golden Globes — their kids!

Though most of these children (ranging in age from 4 to 15) weren’t sticking around for the award show itself — nor did they watch any of the nominated projects, aside from KPop Demon Hunters and Wicked: For Good — they were more than happy to push their bedtimes to weigh in on red carpet looks. Behold: the unfiltered opinions no stylist could prepare for.

Teyana Taylor’s daring Schiaparelli dress had jaws literally dropping. The One Battle After Another actress’s look was (mostly) business in the front and a total party in the back, where her sparkling, bow-topped thong was exposed.

Needless to say, it was a divisive choice. “Aww, that’s cute,” said Della, 4.

Beau, 7, disagreed. “The worst one yet,” he said.

And while Zoe, 13, is too young to have lived through Y2K’s whale tail trend the first time, she knew Taylor’s look was familiar. “You know when people used to have thongs that would show? It looks like that,” she told her mom.

Selena Gomez’s feathery Chanel look also interested the young viewers. “It’s giving pom-poms,” said Allie, 13, “and I would not want to wear that.”

Shiny things were the most exciting, which meant Elle Fanning and Kate Hudson’s dresses both got rave reviews. “Her dress looks like glittering flowers. Very beautiful,” Zoe said of Fanning’s Gucci gown, while Della, once again, gave a sophisticated take. “I really like that dress. I don’t want to buy it, I just want to look at it.”

Hudson’s gunmetal gray look was Zoe’s favorite of the evening. “I love the sparkle, the shine, the shimmer,” she said. And another young fan, Perry, 4, had to agree. “Wow, so shiny!”

Green was the hot color of the night, according to 4-year-old Della, who couldn’t help but compare the gowns on both Love Island star Olandria Carthen and Hedda nominee Tessa Thompson to some pantry staples. Carthen’s Christian Siriano dress was giving “lettuce,” she said. Thompson, in custom Balenciaga, she added, looked like a pickle.

Trust a teenager to come up with the most scathing verdicts. “All the outfits look low-key boring,” Sloane, 15, declared. She did appreciate Wednesday star Jenna Ortega’s fringed black Dilara Findikoglu number with cutouts on the sides; the unconventional look was her favorite of the night.

Our crowd was especially tough on men’s fashion. Timothée Chalamet’s all-black ensemble was “too basic,” according to Sloane. Of Walton Goggins’s gold shirt and dramatic ribbon bow tie, 4-year-old Perry had this to say: “Mommy, I don’t like that.” And Adolescence actor Owen Cooper’s gray Bottega Veneta look got this feedback from 7-year-old Beau: “He looks like a Ghostbuster.”

The children have spoken!