Frances Bean Cobain honored her father, Kurt Cobain, with a poignant tribute on the 30th anniversary of his death.
“30 years ago my dad’s life ended,” she wrote on Instagram, alongside a series of candid pictures of the Nirvana frontman. “The 2nd and 3rd photo capture the last time we were together while he was still alive. His mom Wendy would often press my hands to her cheeks and say, with a lulling sadness, ‘you have his hands.’ She would breathe them in as if it were her only chance to hold him just a little bit closer, frozen in time. I hope she’s holding his hands wherever they are.”
Frances was born on Aug. 18, 1992. As the daughter of Cobain and Hole rocker Courtney Love, she was immediately thrust into the public eye. Kurt died April 5, 1994. Ever since, Frances’ life has been under a microscope, something she alluded to in her post.
‘I Wish I Could Have Known My Dad’
“In the last 30 years my ideas around loss have been in a continuous state of metamorphosing,” Frances wrote. “The biggest lesson learned through grieving for almost as long as I’ve been conscious, is that it serves a purpose. The duality of life & death, pain & joy, yin & yang, need to exist along side each other or none of this would have any meaning. It is the impermanent nature of human existence which throws us into the depths of our most authentic lives. As It turns out, there is no greater motivation for leaning into loving awareness than knowing everything ends.”
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“I wish I could’ve known my Dad,” she continued. “I wish I knew the cadence of his voice, how he liked his coffee or the way it felt to be tucked in after a bedtime story. I always wondered if he would’ve caught tadpoles with me during the muggy Washington summers, or if he smelled of Camel Lights & strawberry Nesquik (his favorites, I’ve been told). But there is also deep wisdom being on an expedited path to understanding how precious life is. He gifted me a lesson in death that can only come through the LIVED experience of losing someone. It’s the gift of knowing for certain, when we love ourselves & those around us with compassion, with openness, with grace, the more meaningful our time here inherently becomes.”
In closing, Frances, who has forged her own successful career as a model and artist, shared part of a letter her famous father left her.
“The last line of it reads, ‘wherever you go or wherever I go, I will always be with you,’” she revealed. “He kept this promise because he is present in so many ways. Whether it’s by hearing a song or through the hands we share, in those moments I get to spend a little time with my dad & he feels transcendent.”
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Gallery Credit: UCR Staff