I Am Eating Little Caesars’ Four-Flavor Fantastic Four Pizza

Look! Up there! A giant fiery numeral four in the sky! It can only mean one thing!

That’s right: There’s a new novelty food inspired by the Fantastic Four.

I have been down this road before. Ten years ago, I made one of the dumbest decisions of my life: I agreed to eat the entire Fantastic Four menu at Denny’s and document the experience for this very website. Despite the advice of my physician and the looks of abject disgust from my wife, I consumed the Human Torch Skillet, the Invisible Woman Slam, the Fantastic Four-Cheese Omelette, and the Thing Burger (with, Uatu help me, Thing Sauce). Oh, and also a Doctor Doom lava cake.

(A lot of people forget that Victor Von Doom is a canonical chocoholic. In the now-legendary Fantastic Four #406 — “All You Need Is Lava” — Reed Richards bested Doom by feeding him a molten cake so good he temporarily abandoned his plans to siphon the Power Cosmic from the Silver Surfer in order to manipulate the Earth’s weather so that it rained everywhere on the planet except in Latveria. Doom can’t get enough chocolate! It’s his one weakness. Don’t be surprised if Avengers: Secret Wars ends with Robert Downey Jr. taking down one of those share size bags of Ghirardelli squares all by himself.)

Where was I? Oh right: Eating myself into an early grave for your amusement.

My piece on Denny’s Fantastic Four food was a huge hit. So I did what anyone in the movie business would do in my shoes: I turned it into a franchise. Now anytime a Hollywood blockbuster does some sort of large-scale tie-in menu, I eat it all and write about what happens and then people send me messages on social media that read “Thank you for doing this! I hope you don’t die!” Uh … thanks?

Ten years after Fantastic Four at Denny’s, like a haggard Joaquin Phoenix, I’m still here; older, grayer, and very evidently not a bit wiser (again, like Joaquin Phoenix). I spent so long in the tie-in menu game that I now have to eat another Fantastic Four tie-in meal inspired by a totally different Fantastic Four movie franchise — Marvel’s new reboot of the property, The Fantastic Four: First Steps. 

(Side note: Is it too late to reboot my cholesterol level? Or my career? Ah, nuts. It was worth a shot, I guess.)

This time, instead of Denny’s, I’ve ventured to Little Caesars, the former home of The Batman Calzony where, for a limited time, they are offering the “Fantastic Four-N-One Pizza,” a single pie containing four different flavors. As you’re reading this, I’ve picked up my very own Fantastic Four pizza at a local Little Caesars here in Brooklyn and am settling in to eat it completely alone at home like the incredibly cool and self-actualized person that I am.

Will it be good? Will I manage to eat all eight slices, two for each member of the Fantastic Four? If I succeed, does that make me a sort of low-level superhero myself? Has everything in my life since the first Fantastic Four menu ten years ago been one elaborate death dream like Jacob’s Ladder? Let’s find out together!

FIRST FLAVOR: Italian Sausage & Bacon

First things first: It must be said that a pizza with four distinct flavors is a clever concept for a Fantastic Four tie-in. Whatever the outcome of this taste test, I respect the idea. Even the world’s smartest man, Reed Richards, would tip his hat to whoever hatched up this wacky bit of movie marketing.

The press release says this tie-in four-flavor pie is “perfect for families, friend groups, and anyone looking to enjoy a little bit of everything.” Hey, that’s me: I enjoy films, comic books, spending time with my family, and eating bizarre pizzas by myself. Let’s do this.

Each Fantastic Four pie contains two slices each of:

• Classic Cheese
• Pepperoni
• Italian Sausage & Bacon
• Pepperoni & Jalapeño

Ideally, I would like to choose four distinct toppings for myself. But I recognize an interchangeable four-quadrant pizza would be a logistical nightmare. Not even a pizza chef with the power to stretch all of his limbs at will could assemble and cook that sort of pie to order in a timely fashion. So I will give the four static options a pass.

That said, these four static options would not necessarily be the ones I would pick for a pie inspired by The Fantastic Four: First Steps. I’m not even certain which team member goes with which slice. Obviously the spicy slice with pepperoni and jalapeño belongs to the fiery Human Torch. No problems there. And I think the classic cheese is meant to represent the Invisible Woman — as in the toppings are not visible on that one.

But your guess is as good as mine about how to split up the other half of the pie. I guess the sausage and bacon goes to the Thing? It’s vaguely orange colored, or at least a light brown, with a somewhat craggy texture? But what does pepperoni have to do with Mister Fantastic? Does Pedro Pascal love pepperoni as much as Doctor Doom loves lava cake? If so, that’s news to me.

The fact that two of the flavors include pepperoni isn’t ideal; you’ve basically got a four-flavor pie with three(ish) flavors (and one of those flavors is, um, plain). There are plenty of other obvious Fantastic Four flavors they could have chosen. How about extra cheese (with a stretchy cheese pull) for Mister Fantastic? The Thing slice could have cheddar cheese or orange peppers; a reader on Bluesky suggested buffalo chicken for that distinctive orange color, and that would have worked too. Instead, they went with pepperoni and also pepperoni…

Whatever, let’s just eat it. Here’s what the Little Caesars’ Fantastic Four-N-One Pizza look like in promotional imagery:

And here is my personal pizza which I just picked up at Little Caesars:

Unless I was the Mole Man and I misplaced my big blue glasses, I am not sure “fantastic” is the adjective I would use to describe this object. But I wouldn’t compare it to the frightful four, either. It’s a Little Caesars pizza.

(You might have also noticed my pepperoni and jalapeño slices contains zero jalapeño. We’ll get to why in a bit.)

I decided to try the Italian sausage and bacon slice first. It is perfectly acceptable chain restaurant pizza. I can see the bacon with my eyes, but I can’t really taste it; the sausage really dominates the flavor. But it’s not a bad flavor (again, by the standards of a pie that was sitting inside a “Pizza Portal” when I walked into the restaurant.)

So far, so okay and vaguely connected to The Fantastic Four: First Steps. Let’s take a second step into this pizza and see what happens.

SECOND FLAVOR: Pepperoni

Look, it’s a pepperoni pizza. Little Caesars didn’t grow into a chain with thousands of worldwide locations because it made inedible pepperoni pizza. It’s fine.

Instead, let’s talk about this box that the pizza came in. The press release boasts that the Fantastic Four-N-One Pizza comes in one of “four collectibles boxes.” When they’re “put together, they reveal a hidden image connecting all four characters.”

As you can see, I got the Mr. Fantastic box, which has a pretty respectable Pedro Pascal as Reed Richards cartoon likeness.

Here’s my question: Unless you buy four pizzas at once, who is going to save and assemble these four “collectible” boxes into the full image? Look closely at the image above and you’ll see that seconds after exiting the restaurant, my Mr. Fantastic is already stained with grease. (Stretchy and greasy? Mr. Fantastic must be very popular at parties.) Even if I had plans to return to Little Caesars in the next couple days in the hopes of assembling a personal pizza box Fantastic Four, would I want this dirty, smelly box hanging around in my house? I don’t think so. But that’s just me.

All right, there’s no putting this off any longer. Let’s flame on and try this pepperoni and jalapeño slice.

THIRD FLAVOR: Pepperoni & Jalapeño

A word of warning about the third slice, the only one that feels very clearly Fantastic Four inspired, the “Pepperoni & Jalapeño”: Check your pizza before you head home from the restaurant. Thankfully I did, so I was able to spot that they forgot my jalapeños before it was too late to do anything about it. I went back inside the Little Caesars, thinking it would be very easy to ask for a side of peppers to put on the pizza myself.

Boy, was I wrong.

As soon as I started to explain to the gentleman behind the counter that he’d forgotten my jalapeños, he immediately shot back “No! You didn’t order any!” Now, when you select this pizza on Little Caesars’ website, it does give you the option to get it with or without jalapeños. I’m not going to not eat the Human Torch pizza without its hottest component, so I picked with jalapeños. Or at least I thought I did.

I tried to explain that to the employee, but he wasn’t having it. He kept insisting I screwed up, that I ordered the wrong thing, and I got what I ordered. I didn’t really feel like arguing and prolonging what was quickly becoming the most embarrassing conversation of my adult life, so I politely asked for a side of jalapeños so I could be on my way. At first, he refused — you ordered wrong! he repeated over and over. Then he went to the register and reprinted my receipt to prove that I had committed this heinous error. There, on my receipt it read “1 Fantastic Four-N-One – Original Recipe.”

“See?” He added. “Original recipe! That means no jalapeños!”

“I’m sorry,” I groveled. “Can I please just get some on the side? That’s all I want.”

After a big sigh, he wandered into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned with a small plastic cup of jalapeños. Before he handed them over, he reminded me yet again to order with jalapeños in the future. I promised I would do better next time, because apparently I am the most pathetic person alive. Then I left.

When I came home and started writing up this article, though, I went back to look at LittleCaesars.com, just to see where I screwed up. I really thought I had asked for jalapeños. Check out the options I found on the site:

Aaaaaaaand scene. (How many people are going to receive jalapeño-less pizzas and complain — and get yelled at — before this guy figures out his mistake?)

Anyway, even though I had to pepper my own slice, this was pretty good. It’s definitely spicy, and that works for the Human Torch. If all four slices were as appropriately themed as this one, the Fantastic Four-N-One Pizza would be a pretty fun tie-in item. Speaking of which, let’s move on to the fourth and final themed slice … plain.

FINAL FLAVOR: Classic Cheese

Eating a pizza with four different toppings just feels unnatural. I am pretty sure this is how the Fantastic Four got their powers; they were bombarded by an overwhelming amount of contrasting pizza flavors. I haven’t read the Lee/Kirby comics in a long time, but I have a vague memory of that.

Either way, today was definitely clobbering time … for my gastrointestinal tract. The churning in my stomach would make Namor sea sick, so it very quickly became clear to me that I was not going to eat this whole pizza. But I have managed to eat one slice for each of the four members. Nonetheless, I have failed you. I’m sorry. Like Tony Stark, I gave you everything I had.

“Classic Cheese” is definitely an anticlimactic note to end this article on, but a Little Caesars cheese slice remains perfectly serviceable pizza of its sort. It will not win any awards. It won’t be anyone’s first choice over a fresh pie from a local pizza joint. But it tastes okay and the whole pie only costs eight bucks. Like the Ultimate Nullifier when Galactus shows up on Earth, it gets the job done.

The Fantastic Four are a team of adventurers, so I must note that it does feel like the four flavors on their pizza should have been a bit more adventurous. (It also feels like I shouldn’t have gotten chewed out by the guy working at Little Caesars at 11am on a Tuesday, but that’s more about me and my issues.) I like the concept of a four-in-one Fantastic Four pizza; it’s just that the execution isn’t quite as inventive as it could have been. Hopefully this pizza does not foreshadow the level of creative boldness in The Fantastic Four: First Steps itself.

So there you have it: The Fantastic Four-N-One pizza. Or, more accurately, The Fantastic One Flavor You Might Get Yelled At For Ordering Correctly, One Decent, One Redundant, and One Plain Pizza. And now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to spend a fantastic four hours on the toilet.

Final Flavor Ranking

1. Pepperoni & Jalapeño (AKA “Original Recipe”)
2. Italian Sausage & Bacon
3. Pepperoni
4. Classic Cheease