So it could possibly go one in every of two methods – I feel your conclusion might be appropriate.
HOWEVER – my mother grew up poor, and after shifting into the center class my brothers and I all the time had good christmases, sort-of. We might typically get items she wished when she was youthful however did not get. one yr, the three of us, all boys aged 13-8, bought ice skates as our ‘large reward’. In a city with no ice skating rink, and none of us ever having ice skated earlier than and by no means expressing a want to take action. She would steadily do that. One yr i requested for DnD books. I bought a replica of Gray’s Anatomy and the Doctor’s desk reference (She desperately wished me to be a health care provider). One yr I requested for a PS2, understanding how a lot she was planning on spending – I bought a letterman jacket, after explicitly telling her i did not actually desire a letterman jacket and she or he might simply put my Varsity letters in a scrap e-book or one thing. When iw as lower than enthused – she gave me “When i used to be your age all i wished was a letterman jacket for my Letters!” after which my non-dorky wool coat ‘disappeared’ and i used to be compelled to put on the letter jacket till it was ‘discovered’ which simply so occurred to be in her closet, someday in April.
She has MANY MANY examples of giving folks items they explicity acknowledged they did not need, ignoring what they really requested for, or simply making use of no widespread sense to reward giving in anyway – assuming that they’d need what she would need. Widespread narcissist habits.