John Oliver Tackles TikTok’s Lawsuit Against Ban

In the Season 11 Last Week Tonight finale, John Oliver tackled TikTok‘s ongoing litigation against the U.S. government’s attempts to ban the platform owned by Chinese company ByteDance.

Oliver kicked off the program with a rundown of the “horrendous headlines” of the week, which included Mark Zuckerberg dropping a single with artist T-Pain as the two covered “Get Low” — a project the comedian-host likened to “Kidz Bop for adults, where all the swears are intact but there’s still a deep lingering sense that music was a mistake.”

He also touched briefly on Donald Trump’s flurry of cabinet picks that have sparked backlash from both sides of the aisle, including Matt Gaetz’s nomination for attorney general: “A man who my lawyers insist I cannot call Jeffrey Epstein if he went to sh—ier beaches.”

The majority of the last episode, however, covered the dueling interests of TikTok and the U.S. government. Oliver began the segment by showing a clip of a social media user reacting to popular chocolatier Amaury Guichon, who was constructing what at first seemed to be a NSFW chocolate creation.

“What a journey! And honestly, I don’t know how TV is supposed to compete with that. I absolutely would watch that guy host a game show called Dick or Snake? It’s basically Is it Cake? only with significantly higher snake-on-dick injuries,” Oliver quipped.

One of the most contentious elements of TikTok is the platform’s hyper-fast algorithm, which operates by collecting and tracking user data: “That way it can quickly figure out exactly what you like and feed you more of the same thing over and over again, not unlike a doting grandmother or Marvel Studios,” Oliver said, throwing a jab at the studio regarding consumer superhero fatigue.

Next, Oliver played a series of TikToks featuring women who said the platform helped them realize they were queer, saying the platform is “speed-running people’s sexual awakenings. Before, a revelation like that might have taken years of therapy or an entire episode of Xena: Warrior Princess. I honestly don’t think a machine has been responsible for more sexual awakenings since The Iron Giant, and I’m not explaining myself to you about that. I’m not doing it. He’s an objectively hot robot, he’s tall, has kind eyes, is great with kids and, I’m sure, has a vibrate setting. Don’t be weird about this. You’re being weird.”

And though Oliver said he is hesitant to put his trust in a multinational corporation that profits off of consumer data, “its behavior is pretty consistent with Silicon Valley’s own very sh—y standards. Think of TikTok as a soft drink company in the 1800s. Sure, its product is mostly cocaine, but hey, show me a child’s beverage that isn’t.”

He concluded, “In a world where Instagram knows your location, Uber knows your childhood fears and DoorDash has a detailed 3D rendering of your small intestine its executives use as a screensaver, claiming you’re protecting Americans’ privacy by banning TikTok feels like claiming you’re fighting climate change by banning the Kia Sorrento. Sure, I mean it’s technically not nothing, but it is, in a larger sense, basically nothing.”

In closing out the show and teeing up Season 12 in 2025, Oliver took part in a viral TikTok trend of his own, mimicking Charli XCX’s “Apple” dance.

“In 2025, I’d like Elon Musk to jump so high, he never comes back down,” he said of his New Year’s resolutions. “I’d like to go just one day without hearing about the Wicked movie. And in 2025, I’d like the final Mission: Impossible film to end with Tom Cruise taking off his face mask to reveal Shelly Miscavige.”