Osgood Perkins’ KEEPER is an Artsy Creeper Without a Pulse — GeekTyrant

When I sat down to watch Keeper, I honestly didn’t know exactly what I was stepping into. I’d seen the trailers, but it barely hinted at anything beyond a couple heading into a cabin where creepy things start to happen.

I usually love going in blind, especially with horror, because that sense of discovery is part of the fun. With this one, though, the surprise wasn’t excitement. It was confusion and disappointment. I kept waiting for that moment where everything clicks or takes off, and it just never came.

I’ve always appreciated Osgood Perkins and the uneasy atmosphere he tends to bring to his films. He has a knack for crafting unsettling visuals and eerie quiet moments. Here, those touches are still present, but they feel scattered.

There are flashes of something cool or inventive, and I could see glimmers of ideas involving monstrous or ghostly concepts, but none of it grows into anything really that interesting or meaningful. Instead of pulling me into its world, Keeper kept me at arm’s length, drifting through scenes that didn’t feel connected.

What made the experience even tougher was the pacing. I like a slow burn story, but this was slow in a way that drained any tension the movie was trying to build. It’s beautifully shot and the cast commits, but the movie’s rhythm is so sluggish that even the good performances have trouble finding momentum.

Most of the time I felt like I was watching a collection of strange and grotesque images trying to form a story rather than an actual narrative.

I could tell Perkins wanted the mystery to feel slippery and intentionally incomplete, but that approach only works when the pieces at least form a shape. Here, the creepy weirdness sits on top of a plot that’s barely there.

What frustrated me most is that the movie hints at themes involving unhealthy relationships and emotional decay, but it never says anything interesting about them. With a setup this simple and contained, you’d think it would lean into those ideas.

Instead, Keeper offers familiar turns without adding anything new, and by the time it tries to land its message, I wasn’t invested. It all feels undercooked, like the story never moved past its early brainstorming phase.

As things moved toward the end, I kept forming theories hoping the movie had some trick up its sleeve. When the truth finally surfaced, I found myself wishing I hadn’t bothered. It’s not that the ending is shocking. It’s that once the cards are on the table, the whole experience feels empty. The mystery behind the mystery doesn’t bring clarity, only another layer of frustration.

Despite Perkins’ atmospheric touch and the cast doing what they can, Keeper drifts along without any real chemistry, clarity, or emotional punch. It’s not scary, it’s not thematically rich, and it never becomes the wild or gripping horror ride I hoped it would be.

Instead, it plays like a stylish but meandering experiment that never finds focus. I walked away wishing the film had given me something to hold onto and enjoy.