In the Season 15 premiere of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, we find the women possessed by higher powers, led by the vibrations of unearthly forces. The most powerful among them? Sheree’s new boyfriend’s Big D–k Energy and Kandi’s behind-the-scenes spoofing.
But which Housewife will emerge as a fan favorite? Who is the center of the drama? The teller of jokes? The spreader of false dungeon rumors? With Porsha and NeNe both long gone, the women have been lacking a North Star, of sorts. Luckily, this season, which airs new episodes every Sunday at 8 pm ET/PT on Bravo, looks to be proving that the women can orient themselves around some new star power.
But oddly enough, the real scene stealers aren’t even people at all. The main players of RHOA are the flighty, undefined abstractions that the women can’t stop obsessing over. I’m talking about BDE, Instagram spoofs, rumors from “the streets” and Todd’s work ethic.
In case you need a cheat sheet on RHOA, missed the episode, or simply want to engage with the wives just a little bit longer, check out the list below where I’ve outlined the premiere’s biggest “players.” Which topic do you think will remain a cast obsession for the entirety of Season 15? Let us know in the comments!
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Martell’s BDE
Image Credit: Bravo screenshot The series may be about HouseWIVES, but the star of the premiere episode wasn’t a wife, or even a part of a wife. The star was a man, or, rather, a particular part of a particular man, and that man is named Martell. Martell is Sheree’s new love interest and his Big D–k Energy captivated the women in ways that are unprecedented on any Real Housewives franchise. For once, all the women agreed about something: Martell is HOT HOT HOT. His BDE was so show-stealing, I’m calling it the seventh Housewife of Season 15. But will Martell’s mighty, er, sword be enough to overcome rumors of infidelity and overall shadiness? Only time will tell.
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Kandi’s Online Spoofs
Image Credit: Bravo screenshot Kandi’s online behavior was a hot topic among the women in the premiere episode. Her videos spoofing Sheree’s Season 14 reunion clickbait clapback were referenced more than a few times. Sheree, of course, thinks Kandi’s just jealous and Marlo thinks it’s funny but also shady. While the spoofs are causing a rift among the group, it doesn’t look like they’ll have a season-long impact. Let’s chalk this up to fun shade and get to the good stuff.
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Courtney and Kandi’s Nonexistent Friendship
Image Credit: Bravo screenshot OK, Courtney’s whole friendship storyline was just, well, weird. Here’s a breakdown: Courtney apparently heard that Kandi was going around asking why Courtney said that she and Kandi were friends. (Confused? We all are!) Does Kandi know Courtney? Are they friends? Did Courtney receive a phone call from someone claiming that she had claimed that she and Kandi were friends? Huh? None of us know what’s going on, but to be clear, Kandi doesn’t even “know anybody else who knows Courtney. And this isn’t even shade!” Newcomer Courtney felt hard-pressed to clarify that she knows where she stands and she never claimed a friendship with Kandi. She swears! What’s hilarious about this storyline is that the drama revolves around semantics and the use of the never-before controversial word, “friend.” They aren’t arguing over the demise of a friendship, or whether they think a friendship can be forged. It’s all about a claim to friendship. In the end, after Courtney bounces up in Kandi’s face one too many times, the women ultimately agree: They. Are. Not. Friends.
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Todd’s Never-Ending Grind
Image Credit: Bravo screenshot Todd, Todd, Todd. This man is always on his “grind,” but does he have anything to show for it? While Kandi’s been busy making albums, writing lyrics and even producing Broadway musicals, what’s Todd been doing? It doesn’t seem like much, but just like in earlier seasons, Kandi insists Todd is not an opportunist and he’s work, work, working away. In Sunday’s episode, Todd’s work grind was all Kandi could talk about, but will he finally produce something tangible this season?
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The Remnants of Sanya’s Athletic Career
Image Credit: Bravo screenshot Sanya can’t let go of her past self. She’s always talking about how as an Olympic athlete, she was her family’s breadwinner. She won an Olympic bronze medal in 2008, after all. She’s living with even more members of her family now, and all their drama revolves around Sanya’s entitlement. Because, remember, she won a bronze medal. And since she won a bronze medal, Sanya just can’t stop talking about the fact that she won a bronze medal. At this point, we’d rather have that beloved bronze medal holding a peach in the intro credits than Sanya herself!
