South Park turns into a battleground for the streaming wars in its latest Paramount+ particular, a 48-minute journey of company greed, breast implants and thinly veiled metaphors.
The difficulty begins when a drought — attributable to ManBearPig, naturally — forces town of Denver to chop again on water, sending residents and enterprise house owners right into a tizzy. How will they keep their good, inexperienced lawns? How will they preserve their fancy golf programs open? And most significantly, how will Pi-Pi’s Splashtown, whose complete enterprise mannequin explicitly depends on a 50/50 mixture of water and pee, survive on this oppressive local weather? (Oh, how-a I’ve missed-a the Pi-Pi.)
Within the curiosity of his constituents (however not likely), town’s water commissioner pays a go to to South Park, the place he convinces Tolkien’s dad to lease a number of the water from his stream to companies in Denver, thus creating the city’s first — look forward to it — streaming service. With a purpose to show that the stream usually flows from Credigree Farms to Denver’s water provide, Steven enlists Tolkien and Kyle to construct him popsicle boats at 20 bucks a pop, aka content material to draw potential subscribers to the streaming service.
In the meantime, Randy — who initially dislikes being referred to as “Karen,” earlier than ultimately accepting it as his new identification — refuses to take part within the streaming wars. (“This farm is about Tegridy, not silly water rights!” Karen says.) However when he learns that Steven “bought artistic folks to place issues on his stream,” Karen additionally hires Stan and Tolkien to construct boats for Tegridy Farm’s streaming service.
OK, right here’s the place Cartman enters the image — and it’s much more of an outlandish catastrophe than you’d anticipate. After performing a stunning quantity about how a lot he hates dwelling in a sizzling canine, he discovers {that a} Denver-based millionaire named Cussler is constructing a mansion proper throughout the road. He instantly begins plotting to maneuver in, however his plan hits a snag when he remembers that his mom lacks the one factor wealthy guys love most: huge faux boobs. Not solely is Mrs. Cartman rightfully offended by her son’s demand that she get breast implants, however even when she wished them, the place would she presumably get $10,000?
Effectively, it simply so occurs that the boys’ boat-building enterprise is booming. And when Cartman says his mother “wants cash for surgical procedure,” they naturally rally to assist him. The truth that Cussler affords them an unique $15,000 deal to supply boats for his new streaming service is merely kismet.
With a lot output anticipated of the boys in little or no time, the standard of their boats begins to undergo, however Butters doesn’t assume the streaming companies will probably be too involved. As he says, “They’re going to take every little thing they’ll get. Everybody is aware of that on the finish of the day, there’s solely going to be, like, three streaming companies. Everybody simply needs to have their s–t on their stream after which get purchased out, you recognize? They usually don’t give a f–ok how good something is. And the individuals who made all of the offers, they don’t give a f–ok, ’trigger they’re all going to get fired anyway, you recognize?”
South Park’s streaming trade turns into much more unstable when the snow ranges on the mountain peaks start to drop, for which ManBearPig is blamed as soon as once more. It turns into obvious to Steven that somebody (Cussler, maybe?) has been shopping for up all the mountain property in an effort to develop into high canine. As he places it, “In terms of the streaming wars, I intend to be the Amazon… River.”
Karen discovers that Stan has additionally been producing boats for Cussler, however when he takes his son to the mogul’s mansion, they’re advised that ManBearPig has already killed him.
In the meantime, the drought poses a significant risk to Credigree Farms, forcing Steven to take again the water rights he leased to Pi-Pi. And that’s when the reality comes out: Not solely is Pi-Pi the one who’s been shopping for up all of the mountain properties, however he’s been in cahoots with ManBearPig and the commissioner all alongside. And when Steven tries to talk up, he’s gutted and thrown out the window; even Tolkien doesn’t know what’s develop into of his father by the point the particular ends.
However three’s a crowd, so it isn’t lengthy earlier than Pi-Pi additionally tells ManBearPig to kill the commissioner. In any case, they’ll’t have him interfering with their plan to advance the drought to the purpose the place folks want to begin utilizing pee (which he has loads of!) for issues like cooking and bathing. “Solely a psychopath would velocity up local weather change for his personal revenue!” the commissioner says simply earlier than he dies.
Once more, the place is Cartman whereas all of that is occurring? Naturally, he’s off getting the breast implants that his mom turned down, even after he was good sufficient to shock her with a visit to the plastic surgeon’s workplace. It’s… fairly a sight.
The particular ends with a chilling montage of everybody in Colorado utilizing up the water provide, fully unaware of the pee-scented hell that may ultimately come their approach.
Did you take pleasure in The Streaming Wars? Do you assume Cartman’s new boobs are canon, or will they by no means be spoken of once more? What grew to become of Tolkien’s dad? And which beloved character have been you extra excited to see, Pi-Pi or ManBearPig? Grade the particular beneath, then drop a remark together with your full evaluation.
