It’s the top of 2022, which implies that it’s a time for vacation events, tv specials, awkward household gatherings and annual household newsletters. You already know the sort I’m speaking about. The household newsletters that come across the finish of the 12 months that embody a pleasant portrait of the household together with a rundown of their latest actions. Since I’ve Batman on the mind, each time I have a look at these vacation newsletters, I can’t assist however marvel what it could be like if the Bat-Household ever launched one.
I’m not speaking concerning the one Bruce Wayne sends to his society buddies: “Pricey Gotham Elites, this 12 months my son Damian went to a…um…martial arts summer season camp on an island. My son Tim has purchased his first boat.”
Come to think about it, Bruce in all probability had Alfred write that e-newsletter yearly earlier than he died. However the e-newsletter I’m keen on is the true one. The one which Batman would ship to his Justice League teammates. As a enjoyable thought train, let’s think about what that e-newsletter could be like. What has the Bat-Household been as much as in 2022?
Bruce would have rather a lot to put in writing about, because it’s been a really eventful 12 months. Chip Zdarsky and Jorge Jimenez took over the core title with 2022’s Batman #125, which included no scarcity of massive moments. For starters, Tim Drake was shot and Batman was framed for the homicide of the Penguin (been there, carried out that). Batman #130 featured an epic sequence the place the Darkish Knight falls from the moon to Earth and survives the expertise. I’m considering that will make the Christmas card, if for no different motive than to indicate Hal and J’onn they don’t maintain a monopoly on area journey.
The Caped Crusader would additionally in all probability write concerning the latest shakeups with Darkish Disaster on Infinite Earths. That epic occasion kicked off in April’s Justice League #75, which noticed Batman and his Justice League teammates get killed by Pariah and his Darkish Military. Fortunately, they weren’t as useless because it appeared, and the League was in a position to rally in time to cease the Darkish Military and restore the multiverse to its former glory.
Whereas writing concerning the occasions of Darkish Disaster, Bruce would in all probability spend most of his time bragging about Dick. Darkish Disaster was an enormous second for Nightwing, who served as a beacon of hope for the surviving DC heroes when it seemed just like the Justice League was useless. Nightwing additionally had a number of battles with Deathstroke, who was being powered by the Nice Darkness. The occasion ends with Bruce telling Dick that he’s an vital voice for the longer term, and he needs his former protégé to assist him determine how you can construct a greater Justice League.
I’ve to think about, since these newsletters are all about household, a lot of it could merely be Bruce beaming with satisfaction over Dick and his different kids. He would have a lot to say concerning the good Dick is doing in Blüdhaven, which may be seen in Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo’s Nightwing. Final 12 months, Dick launched the Alfred Pennyworth Basis, with the objective of ending poverty in Blüdhaven, and this 12 months, he’s continued his quest to scrub up town. Dick has dismantled Blockbuster’s felony empire, due to some assist from his long-lost sister Sonia Zucco.
Bruce would in all probability write about Tim Drake’s new adventures. The older of the 2 present Robins is starring within the appropriately-titled Tim Drake: Robin, his first ongoing collection in over a decade. Tim’s now residing in a ship on Gotham’s marina. He has a colourful group of recent neighbors, and there’s all the time one thing happening. He’s at present locked in a battle of the minds with a brand new enemy, however Tim is nothing if not a resourceful detective.
Batman would in all probability go on for pages about how proud he’s of all his kids and allies. He would brag concerning the good work Barbara Gordon, Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown are doing over in Batgirls. Should you’ve been studying the title, then you definately would know that Steph and Cass are spending the vacations with their mother and father—however not in a pleasing approach. Additionally, they’ve swapped our bodies. Possibly Bruce will depart that out of the vacation card.
I might go on about how Bruce would sing the praises of Jason, Kate and perhaps even new allies like Jace Fox and Harley Quinn, however my area is proscribed. Actually, I believe Bruce’s ideas would principally be on his repaired relationship along with his son. It’s been a troublesome 12 months for Bruce and Damian. Their relationship has taken lots of hits, nevertheless it looks like the 12 months is ending with them in a significantly better place. Father and son had been at odds many occasions, notably throughout the Shadow Conflict occasion. Ra’s al Ghul was murdered, simply as Damian was lastly beginning to really feel a connection along with his grandfather. The hunt to seek out the assassin and produce him to justice brought on some battle between Bruce and Damian, who every had their very own thought on how you can do it.
This has all come to a head in Batman vs. Robin. Each father can relate to the expertise of getting their teenage son fall beneath the affect of a nasty particular person. On this case it was the Satan Nezha, who used his demonic powers to manage Damian. Batman was in a position to free his son, however died throughout the battle. Fortunately the ability of the Lazarus pit was in a position to revive him. Come to think about it, between this and Darkish Disaster, Batman has died twice in a single 12 months! Approach to make the remainder of us look unhealthy!
The occasion additionally noticed Batman don the Helmet of Destiny, which does much more than his utility belt does. Oh, and the volcano on Lazarus Island has erupted, and now the planet might be bathed in these harmful chemical compounds. What might presumably go incorrect? I suppose we’ll should see how this performs out in 2023 throughout the Lazarus Planet occasion.
Wanting again, it looks like 2022 was an enormous 12 months for Batman. Possibly it’s an excellent factor that Batman doesn’t write an annual e-newsletter, as a result of he would in all probability make the remainder of us look unhealthy by comparability. I didn’t do something as epic as surviving a fall from area, except you depend the time I survived a full evening stranded on a Virginia interstate.
Even when my story was extra epic, Batman will in all probability have me beat in 2023. Whereas 2022 was an enormous 12 months for the Darkish Knight, it seems to be like 2023 has the potential to be even larger. With Lazarus Planet on the horizon, it seems to be like Batman might be beginning 2023 off with a bang. Comfortable holidays, everybody. Thanks for studying Gotham Gazette in 2022. I hope to see you all in 2023, as a result of issues are going to be wild.
Joshua Lapin-Bertone writes about TV, motion pictures and comics for DC.com, is an everyday contributor to the Sofa Membership and writes our month-to-month Batman column, “Gotham Gazette.” Observe him on Twitter at @TBUJosh.
NOTE: The views and opinions expressed on this column are solely these of Joshua Lapin-Bertone and don’t essentially mirror these of DC Leisure or Warner Bros.
