“John and Matty didn’t even deserve that, especially the way it happened. It keeps me up at night,” Johnny’s wife, Meredith, said in the emotional interview, while Matthew’s wife, Madeline, shared, “There’s no healing when you didn’t get a goodbye.”
The widows of professional hockey players, Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau, are opening up about the tragic loss of their husbands ahead of the one-year anniversary of their passings.
During an interview with ABC News, which aired on Tuesday, Meredith Gaudreau, the wife of NHL star Johnny Gaudreau, and Madeline Gaudreau, the wife of Matthew Gaudreau — Johnny’s younger brother, who played professional hockey in the ECHL and AHL — broke down in tears as they spoke about their grief, and the final words they shared with their husbands.
Meredith Gaudreau Details Moment She Learned Husband Johnny Died In Heartbreaking Open Letter
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On August 29, 2024, Johnny, 31, and Matthew, 29, were biking in their home state of New Jersey when a drunk driver, Sean Higgins, allegedly mowed them down, killing the pair, who were in town for their sister Katie’s wedding, in which they were set to serve as groomsmen. Higgins now faces six charges, including aggravated manslaughter and reckless vehicular homicide. He has pleaded not guilty; Both Meredith and Madeline were pregnant at the time of their husbands’ deaths.
When ABC News’ William Reeve asked Meredith what she remembers of the day she lost her husband, she replied tearfully, “He kissed all of us goodbye — just in the driveway at his parents’ house. And that was the last time I saw him.”
“Our kids didn’t deserve this,” Meredith said. “John and Matty didn’t even deserve that, especially the way it happened. It keeps me up at night.”
“There’s no healing when you didn’t get a goodbye,” added Madeline, who was pregnant with her and Matthew’s first child at the time. Their son, Tripp, was born four months after her husband’s death.
Meredith — who shared Noa, 2, Johnny Jr, 1, and Carter, 4 months, with Johnny — revealed at the brothers’ funeral that she was expecting the couple’s third child.
While speaking with ABC News, she became emotional as she recalled what she told Johnny as he was laid to rest.
“[I said] I would take care of our kids, and I thanked him for such a great life,” she said.
As she wiped away tears, Madeline — who noted that she was four months pregnant at the funeral — said baby Tripp “was kicking a lot, so I just held Matt’s hand on my belly for Tripp.”
“I didn’t wanna say goodbye to either of them because I know I’ll see them again one day,” she added.
The pair’s TV interview comes two months after Meredith opened up about the unimaginable pain she endured after Johnny’s death in an emotional letter published on the Players’ Tribune and recalled the moment she found out her husband had passed.
“You kissed all of us goodbye and said you’d see us later. And that was that,” she recalled. “Katie called, and she said something had happened but she didn’t know what exactly. My dad drove me over to your parents’, and I was thinking the whole time about how I was going to help you through whatever it could be that had happened to Matty. And then I walked up the front porch and learned the absolute worst had happened and that it was both of you.”
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“I was in shock. I was keeled over for days sick to my stomach,” she wrote. “It’s completely indescribable. The only person who can relate to me is my own sister-in-law. I see her and my heart breaks for her.”
“To go from getting ready for a beautiful wedding all week with your sister, to being in a funeral home with Madeline trying to figure all these things out — it just hurt so much,” Meredith went on. “It was weird and it was awful. I had to go to the doctor for our third baby. The first of my appointments where you weren’t holding my hand.”
She added that she “looked at Noa and baby Johnny and I felt a pain that I hadn’t felt before.”
“Our two babies who have to grow up without their dad, without their amazing uncle,” she wrote.
Meredith described the crushing weight of grief that followed, writing that it got so bad, she could hardly stand up.
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“I thought of our baby inside of me. I couldn’t stand up,” she admitted. “I was awake and having nightmares. Thinking of you in that moment. Thinking of Matty. It’s just the worst thing I could have ever imagined. And in an instant, I missed you more than I knew was possible.”
Despite the sorrow, Meredith said the support from the hockey world brought her some comfort. Johnny’s former team, the Columbus Blue Jackets, honored him before their first preseason game of the 2024–25 season, and players wore helmet stickers with doves and the numbers 13 (Johnny) and 21 (Matthew, who played for Boston College) on them. Patches were also added to jerseys at the start of the regular season.
“The hockey world, the sports world, they showed up for us, too,” she wrote. “To see people go from just knowing about ‘Johnny Hockey,’ to hearing about how amazing of a father you were, of a person you were? I know that’s what would have mattered to you.”
In late June, Meredith was honored at the 2025 NHL Draft, announcing the Columbus Blue Jackets’ selection.
