Jonathan Cheban is popularly known as FOODGOD, who turned up the heat on Instagram with a call to action for all pastry lovers to join his persuasion: ‘ALL BAKERIES: STEP UP YOUR CROISSANT GAME IMMEDIATELY!!’ And honestly? He could have been speaking the truth. This post came with a mouth-watering image of one such croissant filled to the brim with freshly-made, delicious strawberry jam, soaring mad comments, raging debates, and the onset of some international bakery challenges.
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What is considered too much trouble for him? Not only stuffed croissants, Cheban clarified, but it must also ooze with, conspicuously, strawberry jam and definitely not with Nutella or almond cream or custard. ‘Straight up messy, fruity jam pouring tight down your mouth as soon as you bite down,’ he believes.
In comments, he said, ‘I’m talking about FRESH STRAWBERRY JAM!! Not NUTELLA OR ALMOND OR ANYTHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!’ So deservedly, he had to elaborate for the seemingly befuddled out there.
How was the reaction? Untamed! Some agreed with him, among them, @rebeca_scarabello, who said croissants should be filled ‘either Nutella, custard, or pistachio cream.’ That certainly was not on Cheban’s agenda.
To make the matter thicker, @claremulligann threw some shade about Nick + Son in Brooklyn croissants looking ‘100x’s better.’ And thus replied Cheban, ‘There are 1 million trillion croissants that look better. The whole point is it is stuffed with delicious fresh jam that pours out so you don’t have to get a knife and put on jam. That is the whole point: I don’t care how it looks.’ Mic drop.
Then came the serious syrup stretching: @allakasianovaa showed off stuffed croissants from her local supermarket in Switzerland; @lydiabucci claimed Cheban must come to Montreal, where they apparently have this down to an art.
Even @andiwaslike.amelio jumped in to highlight a bakery in Prague where pastries can be stuffed with Nutella, strawberry, or apricot. @caro_vv, meanwhile, lamented the absence of really good croissants in LA, then suggested Doubting Thomas and & Sons right after.
And just as people thought it was going to end, now @maison_connoisseur, mentioning raspberry-filled croissants at the Tin Building by Jean George, hit a blockage from Cheban: ‘I just hate raspberry. That’s the problem.’ All in all, there was @prn_gyl_7, who directly asked, ‘How are you not the size of a house?’ (In the same breath, who knows?).
Some randomness rant about some things in the post: @ohkeeanag had to go nuts and what she said, to which someone from the background answered, ‘I know that ain’t Mickey & Minnie doing the freak nasty?’ @vip81365 went, saying something rather off: ‘It’s never too late to be what you might have been.’ Of course.
In itself, this really didn’t count as one of their trials. According to him, the best thing here seems pretty much the ease of eating. Why even bother spreading? The jam already is inside the croissant – and simply pours out in syrupy bliss with every mouthful. Will any bakery down their tools and take heed? from the looks of it, that’d be a bit too far-fetched now, wouldn’t it? What is clear, however, is that stuffing croissants is everything and soon.
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This is your official notice if you happen to be a bakery owner reading this. FOODGOD has spoken. But even if you’re just your regular starving person scrolling through Instagram? Now you know. Your taste buds will either be whetted or just called for an argument.
