Once it comes to an end, “couples step into the reality of long-term love,” according to Giovanna. She explains that this stage of the relationship is “less about idealisation and more about building something stable, fulfilling and real”. The relationship coach adds: “It is where emotional intimacy begins to deepen – where you learn to support each other, align your lives, and invest in the relationship with intention. It may feel less euphoric, but it is far more rewarding.”
It may be rewarding, but it certainly isn’t easy to handle that transition out of the honeymoon phase. Sharing her tips for managing the changes, Jane suggests “chatting and serious conversations”. She elaborates: “Trying to find a moment every day when you say something to your partner that you would be unlikely to say to anyone else. Be open about your feelings and your worries and fears. They’re bound to have the same too!”
The relational psychotherapist also suggests taking up a “shared and novel hobby which challenges previous boundaries,” such as each partner stepping out of their comfort zone to try something the other loves. Above all, she stresses: “Learning to listen and not interrupt each other is essential for a couple’s life. Learning to mature in a relationship will inevitably involve compromise, one of the most useful relational skills we have. And do not look for perfection – it does not exist!”
As with everything, relationships start off with simple joy before they get incredibly difficult. However, it’s vital never to forget that things need to be tough before they get good again, and that the end of the honeymoon phase isn’t something to be afraid of: it’s the first sign that something truly profound lies ahead.
If you and your partner are personally struggling to navigate this transition, finding that your small disagreements are turning into bigger conflicts, you may want to turn to a relationship therapist, who can provide a neutral safe space for you both.
You can find accredited relationship therapists in the UK through various organisations, such as Relate or the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy).
