I Ate the Entire Popeyes’ ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s 2’ Menu

The Five Nights at Freddy’s franchise is set in a haunted pizzeria and arcade, where the sins of the past return in the form of creepy animatronics possessed by the spirits of murdered children — sort of like what manifests inside a man’s stomach a few hours after he consumes an entire promotional tie-in menu for a blockbuster movie. Said man (i.e. me) committed a grievous error, and now they must pay for it.

Precisely how much he (I) will pay is what he (I) am here to find out. Today I’m at my local Popeyes, the beloved chicken chain that has, somewhat counterintuitively, partnered with Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 for what they are calling “The Freddy Fazbear Crunch Menu.” Why a crunch menu? I don’t know. All I know for certain is I am about to undertake the culinary equivalent of an animatronic robot attack.

(Also: Did you know it’s spelled “Popeyes” and not “Popeye’s”? I did not. No possessive! Popeyes welcomes all Popeyes, whether they are a sailor man or a no-nonsense New York detective.)

The Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 menu contains a special limited-time varietal of Popeyes’ chicken tenders coated in a “savory garlic parmesan rub” as well as “garlic crusted” cheese curds. (Haunted animatronics are famously partial to garlic.) They’ve also got a special dessert called a “cupcake cup,” which feels like one of the more redundantly named food items I have ever encountered during my travels through the world of movie tie-in food.

Nonetheless, I ate it and everything else on this Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 menu. Here are my findings.

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