A woman asks for advice after discovering by “pure coincidence” her new husband hired a sex worker — but Reddit and the wife herself call BS on his reasons for doing it, as well as his insistence nothing happened.
An “overwhelmed” woman has taken to Reddit’s Relationship Advice forum for help after discovering her husband hired an escort … one he insists he didn’t actually have sex with.
In a post titled, “Recently Found Out My (29F) Husband (29M) Hired an Escort – What Should I Do?,” the recent bride lays out the situation, as well as her spouse’s reasoning for doing what he did … ticking off Reddit responders in the process.
Read on to see how it all played out.
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Seeking Advice
The 29-year-old woman began her post by saying she was “feeling overwhelmed and unsure of what to do,” after learning “out of pure coincidence” that her husband “hired an escort.”
OP (AKA “Original Poster”) explained the pair have been together for almost a decade and only recently got married, adding that she was “still in shock and struggling to process it all” after her discovery.
“From what I understand, he didn’t go through with it all. He met up with the escort but didn’t follow through but it’s still leaving me questioning everything. Especially since he initially denied all this happened when I first confronted him,” she wrote.
OP admitted the pair have had “a few issues in the past related to his behavior on social media,” claiming he’s subscribed to an OnlyFans account and has saved photos of models from Instagram. “We talked about these instances and he promised he wouldn’t engage in such activities again, which I believe he hasn’t since,” she continued, adding, “However, this situation with the escort feels like a new and much more significant breach of trust.”
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As for why he did it, the woman said her husband claimed “his actions were a result of feeling sexual frustrated, as we hadn’t been intimate recently due to my period and the last time we were intimate was a little over 2 weeks ago.” She added that he’s always insisted sex is just sex for him and “doesn’t involve feelings,” while she’s always thought of it as “an important emotional connection.”
She went on to explain she was conflicted because “I’ve always believed that infidelity or crossing boundaries like this is a dealbreaker for me,” adding she’s left “embarrassed and unsure if I can ever move past this.” While he’s suggested couples therapy and “promised he’ll do anything I want to get past this,” she’s left “torn between working through this or walking away.”
Reddit Says Run
“He said he didn’t go through with it and you believe that?” exclaimed the most popular response to the post, echoing the thoughts of many who think he got what he paid for.
“He didn’t pay this woman and then not go through with it! He ABSOLUTELY went through with it. He’s lying right now,” added another.
A lot of the responders also wanted to know how she knew he “didn’t go through wit it all,” with OP saying she doesn’t have “concrete evidence,” and only had “just his word” to go by. “I know that’s it’s stupid of me to believe that. I think I’m just in denial and choosing to be ignorant,” she added.
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Many also found it appalling he resorted to an escort after such a short period of time.
“And because he hadn’t had sex in two weeks because of period! He has two hands he can use! Disgusting Pig!” exclaimed one reader. “Run to the attorney’s office. He is completely gaslighting OP.”
“He feels sexually frustrated for two weeks to the point he has the need to hire escort? This is ridiculous. What will it be when you give birth and you cant have sex for months? He’s gonna open his own striptease club maybe,” wrote someone else. “I don’t know, neither do you. Go to therapy. Either way you gonna fix it or have the moral support to leave. Take care!”
To that, OP replied, “I definitely don’t agree with the excuse and think it’s BS. These exact thoughts have crossed my mind.”
When someone else asked, “Are you more scared of leaving or staying in the relationship?” the woman responded, “That’s such a simple question but I never thought to ask myself that. We have 10 years of history and just got married and the thought of leaving it behind is scary. But staying and having constant doubt isn’t right either.”
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After another Redditor said, “The thing with boundaries is that when you set one, you have to be able to follow through on it,” OP added, “I agree and those are the exact words I preach to others. It’s just difficult being on the receiving end which I know makes me look even more pathetic.”
Responding to another reply urging her to get an STI test, she said she had already made an appointment and told her husband to do the same. She also explained her current situation, saying the pair are “living separately at the moment with basically no contact.”
She added, “I agree 1000% he should have communicated how he felt instead of taking the route he did.”
What do you think?
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