“I don’t want to victimize myself in any way,” the comedian recalled of how he felt at the time, while also revealing he fell into a “psychosis where you hear voices” when he smoked weed everyday.
TW: This story discusses substance addiction.
Pete Davidson is reflecting on his “BDE” era.
While appearing on Power 105.1 FM’s The Breakfast Club, Davidson opened up about the tabloids and public becoming obsessed with his sex life and “big d–k energy” after going public with singer Ariana Grande in 2018.
Their whirlwind romance ultimately came to a screeching halt after a few months, but not before an engagement and Grande confirming the size of Davidsons’ penis online. When a fan asked “How long Pete is” in June 2018 — referring to the song “Pete Davidson” off of the album Sweetener — Grande replied in a now-deleted tweet, “Like 10 inches? … oh f–k … i mean … like a lil over a minute.”
Davidson admitted on the radio show on Wednesday, August 13 that he was “embarrassed” by the attention he garnered at the time.
“No one talked about any work I was doing. They were just like, ‘Oh, that’s the f–k stick.’ And that hurt so much,” The Pickup star said.
Following his split from Grande, he went on to date a number of women in Hollywood including Margaret Qualley, Kaia Gerber, Phoebe Dynevor and even Kim Kardashian.
“I think after a year or two, everyone saw how sad I was about it — and embarrassed,” he said as he recalled working on Saturday Night Live at the time. “I was never on Instagram flexing that lifestyle at all; I was very embarrassed by it.”
He noted, “No one was outrightly mean by any means.”
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Charlamagne tha God looked confused by Davidson’s attitude towards that period of time in his life.
“You was banging a lot of hot chicks and you had a 10-inch penis,” the host noted.
To which Davidson replied: “You know, on paper, that sounds great… It’s embarrassing, ’cause, you know… It’s Hollywood. Everybody f–ks everyone. Why are they focusing on me?”
“I don’t want to victimize myself in any way because I’m cool, but the sexualization of me — if that was a girl, there would be a march for it… Seriously. You’re just talking about my d–k all day,” he added.
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“If that was a girl, there would be a march for it…”
He believed the BDE narrative began when a publication wrote about his new relationship with the Grammy-award winning artist, hinting that she was out of his “league.”
“I think it was like the New York Times or something, when I started dating someone that I guess they considered out of my league… They were like, ‘This guy must have big dick energy,'” he said.
“And then someone confirmed it,” seemingly referring to Grande’s tweet.
“It just got to a point where I was … I got really tired of my whole career just being like my personal life. And living through that is sort of traumatic … Like, not to be lame, but like it’s traumatic to live in your own crap all the time,” he added.
The 31-year-old comedian is moving on from his past relationships, as he and girlfriend Elsie Hewitt are expecting their first child together. “Well, I honestly couldn’t be more excited. As you know, it’s been my dream forever since I was a little kid,” Davidson gushed to Entertainment Tonight, while at the premiere of The Home.
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Past Substance Abuse
Elsewhere in the episode, Davidson opened up about his journey with addiction and how smoking weed affected his mental health.
“I was a daily, all day sorta guy and I got psychosis where you hear voices, and you feel like you’re sitting next to yourself, weed isn’t supposed to do that … it’s because it’s too strong,” he recalled.
He continued: “Yeah, I was just doing drugs and trying to do comedy — you know what I mean? I didn’t kill anyone or anything, but it’s still… you don’t want that out, you want to be able to grow. That’s what we don’t really have anymore — any form of privacy, I feel like, for young people where you get to make those mistakes and learn your lessons, and it not be in Page Six.”
Davidson was also battling with his newfound fame after debuting on SNL along with his high-profile relationships.
“I was a big drug addict — I would go to rehab and stuff, and I do have mental stuff, and I was in therapy, but if you’re a drug addict none of that works,” Davidson continued. “You can’t go to therapy on a bunch of drugs and expect it to work.”
What did work for Davidson was seeing how it affected his personal relationships.
“It just got to a point where people I really cared about were like, I will not f–l with you anymore.’ Some of them don’t still. Most of them, I will say, came back.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, get help. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.
