The exotic dancer says she’s the only one who wasn’t invited to the wedding, after she and the husband-to-be “agreed to not say anything” about their run-in at the strip club.
A woman has taken to the internet to ask if she’s the a–hole after she decided to skip Christmas with her family, who excluded her from a wedding due to her job as an exotic dancer.
The tale, posted to an anonymous forum, got an overwhelming response from readers on Reddit, who in great numbers voiced support for the original poster (a.k.a. “OP”).
Read on for the whole tale, titled, “AITA for avoiding Christmas after being excluded from a wedding for being a stripper?”
The Original Reddit Post
The 30-year-old OP said she quit her white collar job five years ago and began working as an “exotic dancer/stripper/entertainer.”
“I make my own schedule, make great money, and 90% percent of the time, I really enjoy my job,” she continued, before opening up about an awkward run-in she had with the significant other of a family member just three weeks into her job.
“Bob was just as surprised to see me as I was him,” she explained, using a fake name for the SI. “Bob and I both agreed to not say anything to anyone. Also, when you’re hired at this club, we sign a confidentiality agreement to not speak about patrons seen in the club. I also want to mention we never touched or did a lap dance, but he saw me naked, considering the occupation.”
“Its as if everyone thought ‘Well, She’s a stripper and the future husband saw her naked once! She’s not invited!'”
All was fine, it seemed, for four years — until Bob got married to her family member. “And of course, it spilled out I’m a stripper and he came to my club 4 years ago,” said OP, who is still left wondering how it all got out there.
She said she was the “only family member excluded from the wedding,” as her parents and siblings all scored invitations. Her parents, she said, opted not to attend in solidarity with their daughter, despite OP telling them she wanted them to go.
“Now after the fact, I’m sort of bothered by it. Not by the lack of invitation, but what seems like the complete agreement from my entire family that I deserved to be excluded,” wrote OP. “Its as if everyone thought ‘Well, She’s a stripper and the future husband saw her naked once! She’s not invited!’ And everyone agreed 100%.”
The wedding happened last summer and OP said she hasn’t seen her extended family since — as she’s left asking whether she’s the a–hole after deciding against celebrating Christmas with them following the slight. She said there was “concern” about her not being present for the holidays, with family members saying she was “so missed.”
The Verdict: Not the A–hole
The OP’s post racked up nearly 500 comments in the four hours since it first went up, with almost everyone responding to it on Reddit in agreement she was NTA in this situation.
“NTA and I disagree with anyone saying it’s reasonable that she didn’t invite you to the wedding,” read the most-liked reply. “It’s not reasonable because you’re a stripper, and it’s not reasonable because of Bob’s involvement. If she’s that uncomfortable with the Bob situation, then she probably shouldn’t be marrying him. She would be blaming you for Bob’s issues.”
“So the problem is that Bob saw you naked? Well that doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand why YOU are being excluded because Bob decided to go to a strip club. THAT’S the real problem… that Bob went to a strip club, not that you work there,” said another, echoing that sentiment.
Another Reddit user called the situation “sexist bulls–t,” again wondering why OP was the problem and not the husband.
Some, however, did see the bride’s side as well.
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“The bride was probably bothered by the fact that her husband saw you naked. No shade – there is no shame in your profession. HOWEVER, weddings are one of those things that the bride and groom dictate, regardless of how other people feel,” read one reply. “In other words, their wedding, their choice on who to invite and why. It’s the bridge and groom’s day and that’s that. NAH. I can see everyone’s side.”
“Bride is allowed to not want someone her husband has seen naked in a sexual way at the wedding. It’s not because OP is a stripper it’s because she’s a stripper at a place this guy used to go to,” said someone else, who felt there were No A–holes Here. “It’s awkward for everyone involved, and yes the groom shares blame because he chose to go to one, but it’s his wedding and it’s not really possible to uninvite him from it without cancelling the whole thing.”
“You’re NTA and they aren’t either,” read another reply. “Everyone gets a choice in who they want to be around.”
What do you think?
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