Summer House Lindsay Hubbard on What She Wishes Didn’t Air

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Lindsay Hubbard has some things she’d like to change about her past on Summer House.

While also insisting that she doesn’t have regrets, Lindsay, 37, looked back on the many years she’s spent on the Bravo reality series on a podcast, where she also answered questions about her NYC apartment, the cast’s reaction to her and Carl Radke‘s split, and comparisons to Ariana Madix, 38.

“There’s so many times I would like to edit, clip, and backspace,” Lindsay admitted on the May 21 episode of The B*tch Bible of what she wished didn’t air on Summer House.  “How many times was I getting drunk and activated? It makes for good TV but not my dating life. ‘Oh, that’s the girl that gets drunk and yells at sandwiches.’ There’s tons of moments.”

Reflecting on the moments that followed her August 2023 split from Carl, Lindsay said Carl spent time traveling, which allowed her to remain in their apartment.

“In the very beginning, I don’t know where he was going. He was traveling, trying to figure everything out. I was in the apartment because everything else just got ripped out from under me, and this is my own home,” she explained.

Then, in early November, just before BravoCon, and while Lindsay was out of town, he returned to the home to gather his belongings for one last time.

“I came home and all his sh* was gone” she recalled. “He had not been sleeping there or living there but he would come back every now and then to get stuff and then that was it.”

Before Carl moved out, Lindsay said he expected her to leave.

“I have to figure out where to live? I’m in survival mode. I’m not gonna then go, ‘Holy sh*t, I need to find a new home.’ That would be the most f*cked up thing and he actually expected it,” she stated. “He was like, ‘We need to sub-lease this.’ I’m like, ‘I don’t need to vacate just because you vacated.’ We just resigned our lease.”

While that lease expires next month, on June 14, Lindsay confirmed she’s renewed it for herself and has been making changes to the space since Carl moved out.

“I’m still staying in it. My landlord and I worked out a deal where she actually reduced the rent,” she shared.

Although Lindsay has gone through a lot on Summer House, especially with Carl, she said she has no regrets.

“I don’t like to regret anything because it puts you in a position to learn and grow and make changes for your future,” she reasoned.

That said, Lindsay added that getting through season eight has taken patience — and distance from social media.

“It’s tough because you have to be really really patient as you wait for the world to catch up to what I lived 10 months ago,” she explained. “I’m not the one who seeks validation I care about the judgment of my friends and my family and my loved ones and that is. It is hard, though, especially when the internet is ablaze.”

To cope with the often hard episodes, Lindsay said she binge-watched a few episodes at a time.

“I would binge three or four at a time and then take a break because mentally I had to. This was a really traumatizing life experience for me. This season, I had to be really patient and just wait. I don’t have to talk and be like ‘This is what happened,’ and shove it down everyone’s throats. You’re gonna see it,” she teased.

One particularly challenging issue she faced with Carl during the season was his sobriety — and concerns about her drinking.

“There was a lot of resentment that was building for me and I was losing respect because he would almost weaponize any time I would have a drink. I felt constantly judged,” she admitted. “Meanwhile, he smokes weed. I’m not doing anything wrong by having two glasses of wine with my girlfriend at dinner. I don’t smoke weed. He can smoke weed and that’s great but I’m not out here being like, ‘How much weed did you smoke today?’ I wasn’t policing.”

While Lindsay has been compared to Ariana, whose now-ex-boyfriend, Tom Sandoval, 41, was caught cheating on her with one of her best friends, former castmate Rachel “Raquel” Leviss, 29, last year, the Summer House star denied having much in common.

“I think our situations are so different. They were together nine years and he had a full-blown affair … it was so f*cked whereas mine, [I was] dealing with a guy who didn’t fully understand the level of commitment it takes to be in an adult relationship.”

According to Lindsay, Carl was having major commitment issues in the months leading up to their split.

“He’s like ‘I want to get married. I want kids and I want a family,’ and it’s like, okay, but that comes with a whole different set of responsibilities in partnership and I just don’t think he understood the commitment that partnership takes,” she explained. “He’s like ‘Oh sh*t, things are tough, I guess I’ll go now,’ and that’s not somebody I want as my life partner.”

As for her castmates, who were put in an awkward position when her relationship with Carl imploded amid season eight, Lindsay felt for them.

“I think it’s tough. I think the guys, naturally, Carl had a lot to say. He had a lot of stories to tell last summer and I think it’s hard, you’re not privy to everyone’s conversations unless I was out there being like, ‘Well, this is how I feel and this is what happened,’” she said. “That’s just not real life and I think that happens in most friend groups where unless you heard my side also, you’re gonna automatically take his side. But I think ultimately, as the end result, when all was said and done, when we broke up, it’s a hard situation to take teams on because everyone kind of lost in it.”

That said, she did feel that how Carl chose to end their relationship was “categorically, objectively wrong.”

“He’s always playing victim,” she added.

Summer House season eight airs Thursdays at 9/8c on Bravo.