This week on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, we have arrived at the final episode of the reunion. The men join the fray, and each side will get the opportunity to show what they have stored in their arsenals. Who will prevail, let us watch and see!
Teresa and Joe are face to face, and they both have their hearts beating out of their hairy chests. She is clearly worried that Joey is going to air their dirty laundry. Teresa fears that Louie will not be able to explain away all his misdeeds this season.
We begin with a little levity with Frank, who is trying to keep up with Paulie and sporting some new choppers. Louie admits his first reaction to the hair tower was, “WOW, I am really marrying that?” He gets asked about wearing Nonno’s pajamas, which has now turned into a less creepy story of him just wearing his sweatpants. Sure, Louie, you have tried to sanitize the version you told during the season since even you can recognize the creep factor was off-the-charts in your original story.
Joe wants to believe that Louie is being sincere but feels he gets screwed over when he puts his guard down. He wanted a brother-in-law, and he wants a humble Teresa back. Joe says he used to talk to her every day, and she attributes it to the filming. When Melissa tries to interject, Teresa tells Melissa, “Shut the f*ck up!” She wants to talk directly to Joe. Andy keeps trying to get Louie’s take, but Tre and Mel cannot stop fighting.
Tre thinks that Melissa and Joe have dragged her through the mud. She thinks that Melissa is a gaslighting b**ch — no, my sweet delusional fool, YOU married that gaslighting b*tch-boy. Teresa makes a big deal about not going out with the Gorgas. She must forget that she stated herself that she only goes out with couples when Dolores did not get invited to the engagement party since she was single.
Andy now profiles the house-husbands of New Jersey. We get to see clips of them getting along all season. Frank gets questioned about letting Dolores go live her life, and he defends their family dynamic. He mentions that he and Brittany just bought a house — but they need to tell David. Bill defends his profession and admits he needs to decompress after work. He believes that he is more available for his family now. Paulie gets asked about his divorce status. He has been separated for 14 years and has not had a serious enough relationship — until now — that has made him want to divorce his ex.
When the topic of Frankie Jr. and his job with Louie, the slippery snake, comes up, Dolores goes on the defensive and refuses to engage in conversation about it. She then gets upset with Joe Gorga when he tries to get her to explain what happened to their working relationship. Dolores does not want her son in a “cesspit,” and she shuts down the conversation and says there are no issues. She then says to Louie that she is thankful for the job. Paulie tries to get Dolores to chill, but she is in protective mode, IMO. What is going on with this cast? Has LUIS threatened even Dolores to keep her mouth shut? This whole exchange is highly suspect. Andy even seems perplexed about why Dolores cannot answer the question.
John asks Louie why he had his family investigated. He has information that he did hire Bo Dietl. John shares that someone contacted him and told him. Louie now says that was misstated and Bo is one of his best friends, so he did not hire him but there was a favor involved? Louie is the king of semantics. Rachel shares that she and Melissa were out together and Bo was at a table next to them.
Andy says that the production got a call from a security person who is there to protect Louie and Tre. What, from being recruited to work as the joker clown and bearded woman in the circus? Louie says that Bo told him to hire security because he got death threats. Margaret is the one who is blamed for their needing security, which is preposterous. Frank asks if Louie hired Bo to start a smear campaign about him and Joe Gorga, which he denies. Joe B. wants Louie to stop threatening all of them. Louie is such a shady arrogant pr*ck, and he calls Joe Gorga a bully?
Louie claims he invested $110K from Tre’s account because Joe wanted to start a pizza business. He then launches into a story that sounds like he did run with Joe’s idea. Andy then tells Melissa and Tre they are both embarrassing when they are trying to interrupt. Joe says that they never talked about money but just the concept. John suggests they should have had a written idea to protect Joe’s idea. Louie gets asked about Dina’s husband, Dave, and their issues. He ascertains that Dave told Joey to shut down that story or he will be sued, which Joe denies happening. Joe calls Louie a woman abuser. Louie threatens Joe and says he is going to regret this, and my hair rose on my arms when they showed Louie’s expression.
Andy asks Teresa about blaming the Gorgas for calling the Feds. Frank was Joe Giudice’s lawyer, and he said Joe Gorga never cooperated with the Feds when they wanted information. Teresa says Jacqueline has no reason to lie, and Andy thinks it is the joke of the century that she relies on her information. Production treats us to all the footage where they spout hateful things at each other. Teresa warns Joe to watch it since he has stuff in his past too. Joe does not regret going to the wedding — nor should he.
Louie, who is morphing into the Joker now, tells the story about the cheating rumor. He says that he did not infer there were multiple men. Teresa says that she swears on her daughters that she is telling the truth and that she had no part in this. She calls Gia to find out about the pre-rehearsed conversation with her uncle Joe. Side note: What kind of mother continually swears on their children’s lives and then still blatantly lies? I was waiting for a lightning bolt to hit her on the couch.
Gia, who is a Tre-Soldier, corroborates her mother’s story that she just called to ask her uncle Joe to walk her mom down the plank aisle. She wants to know why her uncle is calling her a liar, but Melissa tells Joe to just let her talk and do not engage.
Teresa calls Joe disgraceful and disgusting. How original? She tells Joe to not follow her, but he does not move a muscle as Teresa waddles off the stage and stomps off. Tre cannot take the blame and deal with the truth. She shouts, “Mommy and Daddy, you should be ashamed of yourselves!” WTF, she will blame even her deceased parents! Where is that lightning bolt when we need it?
Teresa and Louie are backstage calling Gia and letting her know what transpired. Louie then tries to spin that Gia said Joe should be better and come to the wedding — not do better and ditch the wife. Andy runs back there and assures them that he is going to wrap things up so they can return. The rest of the cast is discussing how Louie has caused more damage to this family than Joe Giudice ever could.
Teresa and Joe both say that they are heartbroken that their relationship has come to this. Joe then goes into some accident story, and he would return to her side if she ever needed him. Teresa tells Joe she should be honoring her like she is Mother Teresa or something.
Joe and Louie agree to end this messy behavior, but there are always caveats with this group. Louie then hugs Joe and tries to approach John Fuda, who is not falling for his shtick. John wants an honest conversation, and he is never going to get it.
Dolores admits that it is a somber occasion. Nothing really got resolved, and she admits it is time for them to part ways due to how toxic it is. Jennifer claims she is exhausted from the effects of Marge’s arsenal and wants to start over. She wishes that they could have been able to enjoy each other’s company and be work friends again.
Teresa reflects on the season and was only trying to make nice with Melissa since she was getting married. Melissa felt like she had bent over backward, and Tre kept denying her every single time. She then goes with a huge stretch and tells Tre she still does love her, which made me want to vomit. Andy ends the episode with a toast from Dolores, and the curtain closes on this wicked clown show — for now.
Thank you, Blurbers, for hanging in with me this season! We will have to wait and see if Jersey will come back or go the route of RHONY, which basically destroyed it ?.
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