Why Man Asked Girlfriend to ‘Pretend to Be Japanese’ For Reunion with High School Friends

The OP (a.k.a “original poster”) shared her story to Reddit’s AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) forum, asking the internet whether or not she’s in the wrong for refusing to fake being an ethnicity of which she is not to “impress” her boyfriend’s friends at an event.

Redditors weighed in, before the woman later revealed the reason behind her boyfriend’s bizarre request, and where they stand now.

Read on to see what went down and how Redditors reacted.

In her original post, the woman asked the question: “AITA for telling my boyfriend I wouldn’t pretend to be Japanese to impress his old high school friends?”

“I (23f) am a Chinese woman living in America. My boyfriend (23m) is American and white. I am somewhat aware of a weird thing for Asian women some white American guys have,” OP wrote. “But most of my boyfriend’s exes are African-American so I thought I was in the clear.”

“He’s going to attend a event that includes many friends from high school,” he added. “He told me he wants his friends to think I’m Japanese. He said I don’t have to outright say it, I can just do something subtle to give them that impression.”

According to the woman, one of her boyfriend’s exes, who is African-American, will be at the event, but OP’s boyfriend “promises” that his ex being there “has nothing to do with him wanting people to think I’m Japanese.”

“He said it’s for his male friends,” OP clarified. “Even though it’s people he rarely sees so this maybe a one time thing, I told him I wouldn’t pretend to be Japanese.”

“Unless it’s required, I avoid telling people I’m Chinese,” she explained. “I feel people put much stock into where people are born and I want people to get to know me for me.”

Despite her declining her boyfriend’s request, OP said her boyfriend “still wants” her to go with him to the event, but noted that “he seems like he’s dreading it.”

“Am I the a–hole ?” she then asked.

Redditors appeared to unanimously label the woman as NTA, a.k.a. “not the a–hole,” and didn’t hesitate to rally behind OP, while also accusing her boyfriend of having a “fetish.”

“NTA and it’s really weird that he wants you to lie to show off his ‘Japanese’ girlfriend like a trophy,” a user wrote.

Another commenter suggested the boyfriend fetishizes Japanese culture, saying he was “dreading” going to the event because he probably “already told them you’re Japanese.”

“NTA boyfriend and his friends have a weird ass fetish,” another wrote in a popular comment, to which OP replied, “Maybe I’m naive. I definitely don’t think I understand how kinks and fetishes work.”

“I was hoping [because] most of his exes are African-American, that would mean he doesn’t have a weird obsession for Asian women,” she added, before asking how “many” of his friends he grew up with possibly have the “same fetish.”

“I am not defending him, I just don’t know how this works,” OP clarified.

After a Redditor suggested that the boyfriend may “have a fetish for ‘Exotic’ women for which any woman not white could fit,” the woman said that the commenter’s “theory fits the most.”

“Maybe my boyfriend have an obsession for non-white women but wants to impress someone who specifically like Japanese women,” OP said.

Meanwhile, another user — who also said OP was NTA — asked, “Why the heck are you dating this creep nta.”

“A part of me was hoping people would say I’m overreacting,” she said.

Another commenter asked OP if she was “looking for a reason to stay with that weirdo??”

“You’re not the a–hole for not pretending to be something you’re not,” the user assured. “It’s good to have self respect but….your boyfriend sounds like a piece of work and he’ll do more microagressions against you if you let him get away with it. PICK BETTER!”

The woman replied, “I was, but this is a problem I can’t ignore. My boyfriend has issues.”

The next day, the woman gave an update in a new post, sharing that she had a conversation with her boyfriend, who explained the apparent reason why he asked her to “pretend to be Japanese.”

“A tiny update as the conversation I had with my boyfriend was less than 2 hours long,” OP said. “He promises that he doesn’t care that I’m Chinese instead of Japanese. He admitted he’s physically attracted to women who aren’t white.”

“He promises that his old high school friends doesn’t have anti-Chinese sentiments. He admitted it was a stupid competitive thing between him and his friends,” she continued. “He said his friends will be [impressed] that I’m Chinese but one of his other friends has a South Korean girlfriend. In their weird ranking, even though Chinese is ranked high, South Korean is ranked higher. For them, the only thing that ranks higher than South Korean is Japanese.”

OP then dropped a bomb, telling Redditors, “I broke up with him. I told him and his friends need to have more respect for women.”

Commenters praised OP for her decision.

“Good for you. That sounds like an insanely stupid thing for him to worry about,” a user wrote.

“The very idea that he and his friends RANK the desirability of female partners according to their cultural / ethnic origin is deeply, deeply s–ty behaviour,” another said. “You did the right thing to break up with him. Absolutely appalling behaviour!”

“You did great standing up for yourself. You’re not some piece of meat for a competition,” another person chimed in.

What do you think?